Tag: #WallBreaker

God establishes our steps

God establishes our steps

In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

Being chosen is one thing. Being selected after initially rejecting, auditioning three times, and then praying for validation with absolute certainty by God is quite another feeling entirely. Please allow me to explain what I mean.

I closed my laptop for the last time at my former job a few days ago. It still hasn’t fully hit me yet, but my life is about to change dramatically with my new employer. I was recruited for this job through an executive search company. While I will still be an executive assistant, this role is entirely different because of the corporate structure, mission, and my executive’s background. My new company is small, based out of the United Kingdom, and wholly funded by a billionaire hedge fund manager the British government knighted for his philanthropic work.

If that’s not impressive enough, the executive I will support was voted as one of Fortune magazine’s “World’s 50 Greatest Leaders” – alongside Prince Harry and Meghan Markle as well as Bill and Melinda Gates in the same year. In addition to her charitable work, serving as CEO of an organization that worked to end five of the world’s Neglected Tropical Diseases (NTDs) – ultimately administering over 700 million NTD treatments – she led international programs for Operation Smile and disaster response for International Medical Corps. With service in over 70 different countries, board service to groups such as the World Economic Forum’s Global Health Security Advisory Board, and ultimately writing a book whose forward was written by Bill Gates, there can be no question as to the extraordinary work accomplished by the woman who chose me to assist her.

How on earth did I get here? How did this role ever come to find little old me? I can only answer, “It had to be God.”  I make that statement with absolute assurance. It has nothing to do with me.

For starters, I initially turned down the role after being asked to apply. While that may sound shocking, my rationale was solidly founded. First and foremost, I wasn’t sure my faith could support the prospective company I was being asked to work for.

My faith means everything to me. After my initial research into the philanthropic organization, I said, “Thanks, but no thanks,” to the recruiter – citing pay as my rationale. The salary threshold being close to my former position’s, it was simple to decline the role with that excuse.

When the recruiter reached out again – a whole week later – assuring me that the employer could go higher, I talked to David. My initial rejection was due to my faith, but that was before a small voice inside me said there may be a godly reason why you should be there. I couldn’t discount that thought.

Countless times in my past, I have felt strongly that my Heavenly Father put me in a position to be His light in a dark place. How could I so quickly turn a similar situation down? Those thoughts filled my head even before the recruiter reached out again. “I need to apply,” I told David. “God is in control. Let’s see what happens.”

What occurred next blew my mind. After submitting my application and writing sample (required in this role), I interviewed with the third-party recruiter. I was asked to meet with the search committee for a second interview one week later. Still unsure of how I felt about the role, I nevertheless wanted to do my best.

Unfortunately, my tech wouldn’t work on the interview day, and my test Zoom call with David, who was in VA Beach then, was a complete failure. “I can’t hear anything you’re saying on the call,” David said. Try as I might, my speakers wouldn’t connect.

Minutes before the interview, I told David I needed to pray.

“You’re in control, Lord Jesus,” I said. “I’m afraid I will look like an absolute fool, but I’m giving this all to you. Please help this work out if it is Your will. Your words. My lips.”

Upon connecting, the hiring manager confirmed my fears. “I can’t hear you,” Helen (name changed) said. Praying silently and frantically again, I clicked something on my computer, and miraculously, everything was perfect. I can’t even be sure what I did. The action must have emanated from God.

Forty-five minutes into the interview, Helen noted that I’d mentioned having “a strong faith” in response to how I handle stress. I further discussed my mission trip to Nicaragua after Helen talked about witnessing global poverty – something I confirmed having also seen first-hand and been affected by.

“You mentioned your faith several times,” Helen noted. “I’m curious about your spiritual journey. You know this is a non-denominational position. Tell me about your faith and how you’d handle working with others whose own path might be very different than your own.”

“I’m a Christian,” I immediately responded. “My faith governs every aspect of my life. It’s who I am and the biggest part of my character. That being said, I completely respect the fact that everyone has to make their own spiritual journey. I will never judge anyone whose experience is different from my own.”

After the interview ended -15 minutes later than initially intended – I called David and my brother to explain what happened during the call. “I’ve never been asked about my faith in an interview before,” I gushed. “No matter what happens, I feel incredibly blessed that God allowed me to testify to what I believe in. God opened my microphone, yes, but He also gave me the voice to say, ‘I’m a Christian’ in profound way.”

A week later, the hiring manager herself called to connect with me again – this time asking me to fly to meet over Labor Day, requesting an entire day to show me around their Center and spend more time with me in in-person. After working out the specifics, my ticket and overnight accommodations were purchased, and my trip was ready to begin.

Despite the devil doing everything to keep me away – including a delayed flight, a missed connection, a canceled flight, and the inability to get an Uber from the airport after midnight – I slept a few hours. I met Helen and a few of her “guests” a short time later for breakfast.

Conversations over the breakfast table left me questioning anew whether this job was right for me.

The on-site events further solidified the same musings. Over the course of the day, I heard about the “Sound Ceremony” the group celebrated the evening before, witnessed an indigenous guest stand in the mud that was “calling him,” and learned that another guest was an astrologer who frequently gave readings to those whose events she participated in.

“These people are worshiping creation,” I later told David. “I worship the Creator. I don’t know if this could ever be right.”

The 500 acres my new employer owns in North Carolina are a testament to the beauty of God’s creation.

For this reason, I told Helen I needed some time to talk to my husband before I could accept the job offer she graciously extended to me at the end of the day. “We wouldn’t have brought you here if we didn’t think you were the one we wanted in this role,” she told me. “I think you’d be perfect for it.”

I couldn’t yet say the same, and Helen was visibly stunned by my admission. I just wasn’t sure and needed to pray.

Later that evening, after talking to David, I began earnestly petitioning God.

“Lord,” I began, “I don’t know what to do. How can this be right for me? I love Helen’s heart already, and the offer is so generous – but how can I do this?”

It was then that the thought came to me, “Tell Helen how you feel.”

I had been transparent throughout every interaction I’d had to that point – even telling Helen about my past abusive relationships, something that shocked me after my admission. Instead of being horrified at my faux pax, Helen told me she was proud of me and said she knew I would use my past to help others in the future. I had been entirely candid with Helen and knew the same thing was required regarding my faith. I needed to explain my thoughts – no matter what happened.

Hard hats were required as I visited a building under construction during my all-day interview.

On the way home the next day, I reached out to one of the chaplains I’d bonded with during my first Samaritan’s Purse work. After explaining the situation and my proposed response, my friend promised to pray that I would have clear guidance regarding what I should do and say.  

Following my discussion with David upon my return to VA Beach, I asked Helen if I could talk to her the following day to clarify an important matter. We made plans to speak the next morning.

When Helen and I spoke the following day, I explained how an activity we’d shared on-site had affected me. Two days prior, Helen and another guest had laid flowers on and around a statue I didn’t recognize. The act made me pause, step back, and pray.

“Forgive me, Jesus,” I silently petitioned. “I can’t do that. That’s not right.” After learning that the statue was of a Buddhist goddess, I knew my instincts were correct. I needed to explain the same to Helen.

I picked flowers and vegetables from one of the gardens I visited on my site tour.

“In the garden,” I began, “I didn’t know anything about Quan Yin. but I knew in my heart that I couldn’t do what you were doing. Before we go further, I need to explain there are lines I can’t cross. In Christianity, I can’t offer any worship, adoration, or token to anything other than God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit. That’s sacred to me. I can’t cross that line.”

“I fully respect that,” Helen said. “In fact, I’ve been thinking we need a Christian on staff to help us in decision making. We may actually take that statue out as I don’t think we should have any icons of any type if we’re going to be non-denominational. If you’d like to” she continued, “I can connect you with someone who may speak your language better than I can.”

After agreeing, Helen introduced me to Mark, co-founder and CEO of Mana Nutrition, an organization that creates ready-to-use (RTU) foods to help the world’s malnourished to survive, sustain, and thrive. Mark and his wife spent ten years as missionaries in Uganda – one of the countries they now serve with their product. Incredibly, their manufacturing facility resides about 2.5 hours northwest of where I live, and they’re currently building a warehouse near my former place of employment. This additional connection to me was profound, considering that their headquarters is in NC.

Adding to that, I was surprised to learn that Mana is primarily funded by the same billionaire that bankrolls my new company. “In fact,” Mark explained, “I’ve known [your potential employer] for the past 13 years.”  

Additionally, after hearing my story of how David and I met through Samaritan’s Purse (SP), Mark told me that Mana Nutrition is the number one supplier of RTUs to SP. God’s fingerprints are all over this work – whether they even realize it or not.

As we discussed my trepidation about the role, Mark put my fears to rest. “The way I see it, you’ve been given an opportunity to be a Jesus follower in a rare spot,” – an astute observation that immediately made me smile as it put my spirit at ease. “Think about Paul speaking to the residents in Athens who worshiped so many gods that idol-makers were everywhere. “He didn’t have to go there and talk to them, but he did. We can’t sit in a box and expect to make a difference.”

Over the next few hours, Mark and I spoke of our shared faith, willingness to go wherever God leads, and do whatever we’re asked to do. “You will be challenged more than you’ve ever been in this job,” Mark observed, “but I believe you’re being called to do it.”

I was filled with God’s presence as I walked through the woods during my site tour.

An hour later, I signed the job offer letter and spoke to Helen one last time. “I’m sending you the agreement,” I told her. “I’m so excited to accept.”

“That makes me happy,” Helen said. “I heard from my number two candidate today and she wanted to meet with me in-person. I wasn’t sure what you would say so I didn’t want to turn her away – but I really wanted Sara.” I have no doubt Helen felt my joy at hearing that affirmation as I clapped my hands in response and assured her of my enthusiastic acceptance.

After petitioning God for direction and consulting with other believers, I have perfect peace about this new position. As Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory.” How very true that is!

I always pray that God will guide my steps, open the doors that should be opened, and close those I shouldn’t walk through. Throughout this decision-making process, I believe my Heavenly Father not only opened doors but also blasted down any walls that stood in my way, saying, “Go, my child. I am with you.”

God will always guide us down the paths we should follow, just as He did with me during my all-day interview in the mountains near Marshall, NC.

I can’t even imagine what will lie ahead, but I’m excited to see where God takes me next. While I may have thought I was plotting my course a few times in life, I now know that by surrendering to my Creator, yet again, He is establishing my steps down a path I might never have taken on my own.

To be chosen is one thing. To be given the words, peace, and guidance I prayed for by God is quite another thing entirely. Above all, this I know: I am incredibly blessed.

Our wall breaker/love maker anniversary – part 2

Our wall breaker/love maker anniversary – part 2

In my last blog, I talked about how David knocked down my walls of protection by sending me the Rachel Lampa song, “Perfectly Loved,” followed by his testimony of how God broke through to him with His own love for David’s soul. Through several back-and-forth emails, David and I verbalized our lifelong pursuit of one another.

As David explained, “I’ve been praying to meet someone the way we did, in a place where God was. I wanted to feel the beat that skipped in my heart when I met her. I wanted my breath to be taken away by her beauty, intelligence, compassion, love for others, and willingness to serve. I wanted someone where I would be safe to express my love of God, where it would grow and become stronger. I wanted to find that someone who understood and believed those same things, and we would have a love built on the strength of our faith in Jesus and all that He teaches us.”

David and I shared a hug as we served with Samaritan’s Purse for the first time together as an engaged couple on December 12, 2022.

Writing back, I asked, “Did your heart really skip a beat when you met me? Did I truly take your breath away with who I am? Can that be real?”

“I was called to Florida, David,” I explained, “God called me just as He called you. He asked us to give up a few days of our lives in utter abandon to His ministry, and we heeded His call. I had no idea what to expect, but it was beyond my wildest expectations. It still is. His gifts for me are still coming – from one single act of wholehearted commitment.” 

Over the next few days, David set into motion an elaborate plan to further demolish my protective walls by supplying me with tangible evidence of his love. It all began with David’s message that he had arranged for one of his VA Beach friends to ship me something from his home via special delivery. This much is true. David did have a friend mail a tile he had painted years ago. The slate was emblazoned with a gold and red heart along with the words, “Healing heart – Love Heals.” 

What David didn’t reveal was that the shipment was coming to him in FL so he could hand-deliver it to me. Over the next few days, David unabashedly convinced me that I needed to be home to sign for the package – presumably scheduled to arrive on December 1st and later delayed until December 2nd. 

David and I stood beside storm-tossed and destroyed shrimp boats at Ft. Myers Beach, FL, following Hurricane Ian, December 2022.

Behind the scenes, David wasn’t yet at a place in FL where he could easily leave his restoration work. After reaching a breakaway point, he grabbed his kitty, Bo, and set out on an 8-hour journey to my home – all the while sending me text updates regarding the estimated arrival time of my “package.” I never expected anything but a mysterious gift sent with love.

On Friday, December 2nd, 2022, I woke to the following beautiful email from David:

“Good morning, Dear Sara, 

You are the Angel that holds My Heart!!!! 

What a beautiful and memorable day this is going to be! God has blessed us with such a wonderful beginning, and today will add to our precious Love story! What will come to your door today truly has been a lifetime in the making. God has shaped and molded this gift to be the perfect fit into your life, and I’m so excited to be able to share it with you now and forever! I know you want me to be there, and I will be – in your heart as you are in mine. 

I know that my life with you has happened because we both gave our lives up to God to be in his service and allow the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts. 

What I’m sending you, My Love, is My Heart. It’s my dedication, devotion, and determination to show you how much I love you and want to be with you! I’m so happy to know what I’m giving you will be in a safe place that you can share with others when they come into your home. 

David and I in Perry, FL, after assisting Samaritan’s Purse after Hurricane Idalia hit the region, September 2023.

I know we will have a lot to say to each other this evening, and I can’t wait to hear the sound of your voice! 

With God’s Love and mine💞 – David”

To David’s mailing, I sent the following response: 

“Dear David, 

The giving of one’s heart is a sacred offering and one that I would never give or take lightly. The fact that you’ve given me yours is profoundly precious to me. Please know that I promise to hold your heart protectively as I understand its tremendous value. 

I can’t even imagine what you could possibly be sending me today, but I feel privileged to receive whatever you want to give. The gift of oneself demonstrates no greater love, and I am eternally grateful to God for sending me a man who understands that. 

Savannah, GA, July 2023

I’ve never known a love such as yours before, David. It’s incredulous to me that such a thing can exist – that what I’ve hoped and prayed for my entire life could actually be living on this earth. I’d long ago given up the idea that someone like you could ever find and love someone like me. Only the hand of God could have brought us together for such a time as this. 

Thank you for loving me, David. Thank you for the gift of your heart and for your steadfast determination to make me believe in its veracity. 

With our Savior’s love and mine – Sara”

Throughout the day, David gave me periodic updates on the arrival of my package. 

Per David, “I’ve got an update for delivery moved to between 7:00 and 9:00. I was able to get the signature requirement removed, so no worries.”

Jekyll Island, GA, August 2023.

As time progressed, I became more and more excited about whatever David was sending me. As the 9:00 pm hour rolled in, I told David I still hadn’t seen anything. 

“It says it’s still out for delivery,” David told me. “That driver sure is working late!”

“Agreed,” I replied. “I’ve never had such a late delivery before! I feel sorry for the driver! I wonder if they’ll just take it back and bring it tomorrow now.”

“Patience love,” came David’s response. “Delivered by 9:20!”

By 9:15, with still no sign of the “package,” I decided I should have a tip ready for the driver. Pulling a five-dollar bill from my wallet, I put the money in my pocket and moved to the door to look out. 

Peering through the semi-sheer drapes covering the sidelights at my front door, I noted the headlights that entered my driveway at precisely 9:20 pm. When a car door shut, I looked again and could just make out a figure walking to my door that didn’t appear to be wearing a uniform. 

It was at that moment that I felt a twinge of concern. There I was, a single woman, preparing to open the door late at night to a stranger who may or may not have been in uniform. “Maybe this isn’t the best idea,” I thought. 

But then the doorbell rang.

David will tell you that he remembers watching his finger move in slow motion to the doorbell, knowing full well that he was preparing to change our lives forever with that single action.

Virginia Beach, VA, June 2023.

As for me, I will never forget the abject shock I felt when I opened the door to find David standing on my welcome mat with a massive smile on his face. 

Barely comprehending what I was seeing, I cried out, “Wait. What?!? David! How on earth can you be here?” In my utter dismay, I literally shut the door on him.

Realizing what I had done, I opened the door again, grabbed ahold of David, and dragged him inside – repeating over and over, “I can’t believe it! How can you be here?” 

As David laughed, I paced back and forth – periodically looking at David while repeating, “I just need a minute. You don’t understand. I can’t believe it!” 

At some point during my pacing, David finally grabbed me and pulled me into his embrace.

“I had to come,” he said. “I love you. I needed to tell you that, in-person, before you came to Florida.”

While I wasn’t prepared to tell David I loved him yet, I held onto him, clinging to the first person on earth who ever made me feel valued. His single act of driving to see me had completely validated his proclamations of love. 

David and I celebrated our hard work of re-shingling his VA Beach, VA house by sharing a selfie on the roof, April 2023.

“You don’t understand,” I repeated, genuinely overwhelmed at the incredulity of his arrival. “No one has ever done anything like this for me before. I just can’t believe you’re here! How long did it take you to get here?” 

“Eight hours,” David confirmed. “It was worth every mile to see your face.” 

Overwhelmed by the love David had demonstrated to me, I could barely stop the tears streaming down my face. “You don’t understand. You just don’t understand,” I kept saying.

Over the next few hours, I did my best to explain to David how his act of unselfish love had touched my soul deeper than anything he could have ever said to me. 

For as long as I can remember, I have always felt unworthy. I’d been led to believe that my value was always tied to the tangible: how I looked, what I could do, and who I was compared to the rest of the world. I always fell short. I could never be pretty enough, smart enough, or anything else the world believed held value. This concept had been my truth throughout my broken marriages. I was never enough for anyone to love or consider worthy of their kindness, let alone their affection. 

VA Beach, August 2023

Worse yet, I had been repeatedly told that the vision I held in my heart of what love really is was unrealistic. “No one can love like you think they can,” was a frequent refrain. “That’s only in movies and fairy tales.” 

And so that statement became my truth. The love depicted in movies was just make-believe. Books with happy endings were unrealistic. No one, not anyone on earth, could love me unselfishly, wholeheartedly – the way I wanted to be loved – without asking anything in return. No one, that is, until David.

In David, I have found the mirror image of my love for him, the kind of love God has for us all. Every day, David and I hug, laugh, kiss, and thank our Heavenly Father for the beautiful, merciful, undeserving, steadfast, unequivocal, unquenchable love we have for one another. We hold onto each other at every opportunity, thanking God for the gift of finding such love on earth. At every meal, our first mention in our prayers – while we’re holding on to one another, I might add – is to thank our Creator for the gift of love He’s established between us. 

“Thank you, God, for your love,” I pray before every meal. “Thank you for tying David and I together with such an unbreakable bond, bound together with your presence that always surrounds us, for keeping us focused on you. We are so grateful. We can never thank you enough.”

God is the ultimate wall breaker and love maker. He is the one who was always with me, guiding David and me to the moment when we would meet, serve Him together in FL, and ultimately fall in love by seeing each other’s hearts for our Savior. 

Our wedding day, March 12, 2023

My whole life, I always knew my Creator loved me. That much has always been true. But it was only by surrendering my will to His and consistently praying for someone to love me like He did that I found my precious David. As it turns out, David was also seeking love like I was – someone to love like God does, with skin on it. 

One year ago, yesterday, David proposed to me, and I immediately replied, “A million, trillion, ka-billion times, yes!” Today, as we are celebrating our 9-month wedding anniversary, I repeated the exact phrase over and over to him. 

By the way, David still has the five-dollar tip I gave him as the rightful, hard-working delivery driver who came to my door on December 2nd, 2022. 

That money pales in comparison to the gift of love we received from our Savior – both when we gave our hearts and lives to Him and when He gave us the long-held hope of genuine love here on earth. I can never thank God enough. 

After all, only God could create such a love story from two seeking souls whose only desire was to serve their Creator.

Thanks to our Heavenly Father, we’re just getting started.

Our wall breaker/love maker anniversary – Part 1

Our wall breaker/love maker anniversary – Part 1

It’s normal for married couples to celebrate anniversaries such as the day they met and the day they wed. But two anniversaries in a love story as profound as David’s and mine don’t seem to be enough.

Instead, we celebrate our love with anniversaries all year long. In addition to the day we met (October 12th) and our wedding anniversary (March 12th), the 12th of each month is another important acknowledgement of God’s grace in bringing our two hearts together. December 11th is also important to us as it’s the day David proposed to me. So, too, December 12th is remembered as the two-month anniversary of the day we met, as well as the day we served with Samaritan’s Purse together as an engaged couple. December 2nd is another important date in our lives that will forever mark the moment my walls of protection were utterly obliterated by love.  

The tale begins on November 28th – what I like to call our “Next Chapter Day,” which I’m now officially naming as another anniversary. 

My sweet kitty, Rocky.

On November 27th, I gave my sweet kitty, Rocky, back to God – a story I wrote about in my blog entitled, “Not the Father’s will that any of these should perish.” I had purposely chosen not to tell David about this event as I knew he was working hard rebuilding Herm and Nancy’s Ft. Myers home, which had been devastated by Hurricane Ian. I didn’t want to distract him from that mission with my pain.  

As it turned out, David was hurt by my choice not to share this life event with him. After a few brief back-to-back text messages establishing the same, David sent me a link to the Rachel Lampa song, “Perfectly Loved,” which affected me profoundly. 

Beyond our miles-long text messages in those first few months of our relationship, David and I wrote beautiful love letters via email. Wanting to capture the profound way David’s song-send had deeply moved me emotionally, on November 28th, I emailed him the following impassioned response: 

“Dear David, 

I had planned to send you a completely different message this evening about being a wounded animal – something that needs time and total commitment to earn trust. I know all about such things by being both the one earning the trust and the one who trusts. It’s always worth the effort in the end. 

But then you sent me that video. The lyrics of this song speak so deeply to my soul that I can’t stop listening to it. 

David, God is the only one who has ever perfectly loved me. He’s the only one who’s never abandoned, abused, and rejected me. All I’ve ever wanted was to be perfectly loved. That’s all. I used to puzzle over why something that should be so simple is beyond comprehension. I love like that. Why can’t anyone else do the same? 

They haven’t. Until perhaps now. 

Can you perfectly love me? Can you truly want to know these, my innermost thoughts? Can you really want to know me and yet still love me – despite my flaws, scars, and fears of betrayal? 

I have only one fear in life – believing that there may be perfect love only to discover that I was mistaken, yet again. I want to hold onto my belief that somewhere, love can be genuine and whole, that deep love, as the Bible tells me, covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8) 

I used to think that meant love excuses bad behavior, that I could WILL someone to love me, or that they’d change and do so. Nothing could be further from the truth. People don’t change. Either they love you, or they don’t. 

I don’t want superficial love, David. I want perfect love – the kind that sticks with you when times get tough, that isn’t afraid to scale walls, walk 10,000 miles, or stand beside you when things get messy or you’re less than perfect. 

‘Perfect love casts out fear.’ (1 John 4:18) I don’t want to fear that I’m bothering you. I don’t want to fear that I’ll tell you I love you only to have you change your mind and walk away. I don’t want to fear that what I hope for, that someone can love me as deeply and passionately as I know how to love, isn’t real – that only God can love like that. If that were true, how could God have given that capacity to love in me? 

Am I the only person on Earth that gets it? Am I the only one who can love that deeply? Can you love like that, too, David? Can you love me like that? Can I finally give up always having to be strong and alone for being perfectly loved by someone who WANTS to be with me? Can you understand that I want nothing more in life than to love someone with my whole heart who I know loves me that way in return? 

Show me that you are that person, David. I don’t need space. I’ve had a lifetime of being shunned. You can’t love me enough. I will never get tired of being loved. Show me that you love me like God loves me, and you will hold my heart forever. 

I wish I could ask and tell you these things in person. I need to see your reaction – and you, mine. Until then, I will hold out hope that I may be perfectly loved someday. 

Thank you for giving me hope in something I stopped believing in long ago. Thank you for giving me hope. Thank you for not giving up on me. If you do, I will never bother you again. 

But if you don’t, if you will be the King David I know you to be – the man after God’s own heart – you may just find perfect love for yourself in return. 

In His love, Sara”

In response, David sent me the following message:

“Dearest Sara, 😇💞💋

What you have written to me is heaven-sent! I will cherish this forever! This is what I’ve been searching for my entire life as well.

When God completely entered my soul, and I felt unconditional love for the first time, I understood what had been missing all along. It wasn’t there in my family. When I felt that love from God, and I knew he was talking to me and not over me, or around me, or through me, but directly to me, with compassion and understanding, encouragement, fearlessness, determination, honesty, humbleness, and STEADFAST DEVOTION, He was telling me these were the foundations of loving with an open heart.

 I’ve been praying to meet someone the way we did, in a place where God was. I wanted to feel the beat that skipped in my heart when I met her. I wanted my breath to be taken away by her beauty, intelligence, compassion, love for others, and willingness to serve. I wanted someone where I would be safe to express my love of God, where it would grow and become stronger. I wanted to find that someone who understood and believed those same things, and we would have a Love built on the strength of our faith in Jesus and all that He teaches us.

As I got to know you during our deployment, I saw and felt ALL of these things in you. And I began to pray, Lord, is this the one? Is this the person who will have my back at all times, fight for me as much as I fight for her, who will support me in following the dream you have given me and encourage my creativity, will want to have a love between us as deep and as wide as is the universe you have created for us, someone who loves you with all her heart and wants to celebrate that love with me, someone that would wrap me in her arms of love and the pains and scars of my past would melt away forever – that she, Lord, would be the one I want to be with in eternity?

I know, with all my heart, Sara, YOU are her!! You are the Angel God has sent me, and I can barely see the screen right now though the tears of Joy streaming down my face. I thank God for the gift of you!

Scroll back through all of our messages to the beginning. My finger got tired of swiping; it took so long! We have a wonderful and beautiful connection! It’s only going to get stronger. With God at our center, we will be unbreakable. Set aside your fears, Dear One. I Will be your King David, and I will do everything in my power to honor that which has been given to me from God Our Father.

I U V. (Author’s note: This was David’s first not-so-cryptic way of telling me that he loved me without typing the words.) I guess that has been retired by now!

I love you so very much!!

With God’s Love

Your David💞”

Which prompted the following return message from me:

“Dearest David,

 Last night, I told you to add being a stone mason to your resume. This morning, I believe you may also add ‘bulldozer driver’ to your repertoire. How did you manage to obliterate my protective walls with one mailing? The truth is, you’ve been chipping away at them for some time now, even while I clung to the rubble you knocked down for fear of losing its protection. I don’t want to do that anymore.

What you’ve written to me through your tears is the perfect embodiment of all I’ve ever asked for. Your words can be nothing less than heaven-sent. They’re what my soul has been seeking, praying for, and envisioning for as long as I can remember. If your love is as you’ve described below, there is NO more extraordinary gift I could ever receive other than that from my Savior.

Unintentionally, I gave you an assignment that seemed impossible to complete. I asked you if you could love me as Christ does. I wanted to know if you even understood the kind of love I’m talking about.

I now know that you do. You were able to detail extraordinarily how Christ filled your soul with His perfect love. My heart soured as I read your words.

You said Christ was ‘talking to [you] and not over [you], or around [you] or through [you], but directly to [you], with compassion and understanding, encouragement, fearlessness, determination, honesty, humbleness, and STEADFAST DEVOTION. He was telling [you] these were the foundations of Loving With an Open Heart.’

That IS how Christ loves, David. You’ve entirely captured what God-given love is. That IS how He loves us.

And that is how I love, as well. Perfect love is modeled after our Savior’s. He demonstrated His love for us by dying on the cross for our sins, by caring for us since before we were born, since before time began.

‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ (Jeremiah 29:11)

That love story is captured in God’s holy Word. Ours is encapsulated here – but more importantly, it’s in our hearts.

Did your heart really skip a beat when you met me? Did I truly take your breath away with who I am? Can that be real?

I was called to Florida, David. God called me just as He called you. He asked us to give up a few days of our lives in utter abandon to His ministry, and we heeded His call. I had no idea what to expect, but it was beyond my wildest expectations. It still is. His gifts for me are still coming – from one single act of wholehearted commitment.

You said you prayed for someone like me. You wanted to find someone who also wanted to serve, even as you hoped you’d find that person while you were serving.

I did the same. That’s ALWAYS been my prayer.

But before this trip that changed our lives, I didn’t have that idea in my head. My only thought was, ‘Use me, Lord.’

Even so, just as I shut my door to begin my drive to FL, that thought entered my head. ‘Maybe you’ll meet him there.’ It took me back as that notion was not in my brain at ALL. I was so excited just to go, even as I marveled at how it all came together. I could barely contain my excitement. Every step, every mile, brought me closer to the mission God had ordained me for, even before I was born.

It also brought us to each other. Without knowing it, the perfect love story was revealed and put into motion the day I left GA. How the angels must have rejoiced that day!! What had been waiting in the shadows was being orchestrated on the stage of our lives. One act, one line, one piece at a time, was coming together. That story is ours. It’s our God-given love story, and it’s better than any I could have ever imagined.

I told you that if you showed me that you loved me as God loves me, you would hold me in your heart forever. I’m not going to say anything else until I see you, but you’re in my heart, King David. I hold your heart as my greatest treasure in return.

In His love, Sara”

David and me in VA Beach, summer 2023

What happened next was that David put into motion a plan to demonstrate his love to me so elaborate that it completely obliterated my walls. It’s so beautiful, in fact, that I will share its story in a separate post. 

For now, I end with a reminder that our God will break down every wall that holds us back from complete happiness and joy. All we have to do to find that jubilation on Earth is by surrendering our will to His. While I hadn’t yet found earthly love until God brought me David, the love of my Savior, Jesus Christ, was always with me. It carried, elevated, and sustained me throughout my life’s often perilous journey. 

In Christ, there is always hope – the kind of hope that only our Creator can bring. As David’s and my earthly pastor in VA Beach, Dr. Don Solomon of Kings Grant Baptist Church, told us today, “Hope in worldly terms is simply wishful thinking. Hope in Biblical terms isn’t wishful. It’s faith, assurance, and security in Christ. It can withstand trials, fire, and despair, God’s hope gives us security through Christ.” 

There is always hope, beloved. I’ve always felt secure in Christ. I soon discovered we can also have hope and security here on Earth. God walks before us, beside us, and with us. There is no better assurance than that we find in Christ. He is the ultimate wall breaker and love maker – every single day for all eternity.