Our wall breaker/love maker anniversary – part 2
In my last blog, I talked about how David knocked down my walls of protection by sending me the Rachel Lampa song, “Perfectly Loved,” followed by his testimony of how God broke through to him with His own love for David’s soul. Through several back-and-forth emails, David and I verbalized our lifelong pursuit of one another.
As David explained, “I’ve been praying to meet someone the way we did, in a place where God was. I wanted to feel the beat that skipped in my heart when I met her. I wanted my breath to be taken away by her beauty, intelligence, compassion, love for others, and willingness to serve. I wanted someone where I would be safe to express my love of God, where it would grow and become stronger. I wanted to find that someone who understood and believed those same things, and we would have a love built on the strength of our faith in Jesus and all that He teaches us.”
Writing back, I asked, “Did your heart really skip a beat when you met me? Did I truly take your breath away with who I am? Can that be real?”
“I was called to Florida, David,” I explained, “God called me just as He called you. He asked us to give up a few days of our lives in utter abandon to His ministry, and we heeded His call. I had no idea what to expect, but it was beyond my wildest expectations. It still is. His gifts for me are still coming – from one single act of wholehearted commitment.”
Over the next few days, David set into motion an elaborate plan to further demolish my protective walls by supplying me with tangible evidence of his love. It all began with David’s message that he had arranged for one of his VA Beach friends to ship me something from his home via special delivery. This much is true. David did have a friend mail a tile he had painted years ago. The slate was emblazoned with a gold and red heart along with the words, “Healing heart – Love Heals.”
What David didn’t reveal was that the shipment was coming to him in FL so he could hand-deliver it to me. Over the next few days, David unabashedly convinced me that I needed to be home to sign for the package – presumably scheduled to arrive on December 1st and later delayed until December 2nd.
Behind the scenes, David wasn’t yet at a place in FL where he could easily leave his restoration work. After reaching a breakaway point, he grabbed his kitty, Bo, and set out on an 8-hour journey to my home – all the while sending me text updates regarding the estimated arrival time of my “package.” I never expected anything but a mysterious gift sent with love.
On Friday, December 2nd, 2022, I woke to the following beautiful email from David:
“Good morning, Dear Sara,
You are the Angel that holds My Heart!!!!
What a beautiful and memorable day this is going to be! God has blessed us with such a wonderful beginning, and today will add to our precious Love story! What will come to your door today truly has been a lifetime in the making. God has shaped and molded this gift to be the perfect fit into your life, and I’m so excited to be able to share it with you now and forever! I know you want me to be there, and I will be – in your heart as you are in mine.
I know that my life with you has happened because we both gave our lives up to God to be in his service and allow the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts.
What I’m sending you, My Love, is My Heart. It’s my dedication, devotion, and determination to show you how much I love you and want to be with you! I’m so happy to know what I’m giving you will be in a safe place that you can share with others when they come into your home.
I know we will have a lot to say to each other this evening, and I can’t wait to hear the sound of your voice!
With God’s Love and mine💞 – David”
To David’s mailing, I sent the following response:
“Dear David,
The giving of one’s heart is a sacred offering and one that I would never give or take lightly. The fact that you’ve given me yours is profoundly precious to me. Please know that I promise to hold your heart protectively as I understand its tremendous value.
I can’t even imagine what you could possibly be sending me today, but I feel privileged to receive whatever you want to give. The gift of oneself demonstrates no greater love, and I am eternally grateful to God for sending me a man who understands that.
I’ve never known a love such as yours before, David. It’s incredulous to me that such a thing can exist – that what I’ve hoped and prayed for my entire life could actually be living on this earth. I’d long ago given up the idea that someone like you could ever find and love someone like me. Only the hand of God could have brought us together for such a time as this.
Thank you for loving me, David. Thank you for the gift of your heart and for your steadfast determination to make me believe in its veracity.
With our Savior’s love and mine – Sara”
Throughout the day, David gave me periodic updates on the arrival of my package.
Per David, “I’ve got an update for delivery moved to between 7:00 and 9:00. I was able to get the signature requirement removed, so no worries.”
As time progressed, I became more and more excited about whatever David was sending me. As the 9:00 pm hour rolled in, I told David I still hadn’t seen anything.
“It says it’s still out for delivery,” David told me. “That driver sure is working late!”
“Agreed,” I replied. “I’ve never had such a late delivery before! I feel sorry for the driver! I wonder if they’ll just take it back and bring it tomorrow now.”
“Patience love,” came David’s response. “Delivered by 9:20!”
By 9:15, with still no sign of the “package,” I decided I should have a tip ready for the driver. Pulling a five-dollar bill from my wallet, I put the money in my pocket and moved to the door to look out.
Peering through the semi-sheer drapes covering the sidelights at my front door, I noted the headlights that entered my driveway at precisely 9:20 pm. When a car door shut, I looked again and could just make out a figure walking to my door that didn’t appear to be wearing a uniform.
It was at that moment that I felt a twinge of concern. There I was, a single woman, preparing to open the door late at night to a stranger who may or may not have been in uniform. “Maybe this isn’t the best idea,” I thought.
But then the doorbell rang.
David will tell you that he remembers watching his finger move in slow motion to the doorbell, knowing full well that he was preparing to change our lives forever with that single action.
As for me, I will never forget the abject shock I felt when I opened the door to find David standing on my welcome mat with a massive smile on his face.
Barely comprehending what I was seeing, I cried out, “Wait. What?!? David! How on earth can you be here?” In my utter dismay, I literally shut the door on him.
Realizing what I had done, I opened the door again, grabbed ahold of David, and dragged him inside – repeating over and over, “I can’t believe it! How can you be here?”
As David laughed, I paced back and forth – periodically looking at David while repeating, “I just need a minute. You don’t understand. I can’t believe it!”
At some point during my pacing, David finally grabbed me and pulled me into his embrace.
“I had to come,” he said. “I love you. I needed to tell you that, in-person, before you came to Florida.”
While I wasn’t prepared to tell David I loved him yet, I held onto him, clinging to the first person on earth who ever made me feel valued. His single act of driving to see me had completely validated his proclamations of love.
“You don’t understand,” I repeated, genuinely overwhelmed at the incredulity of his arrival. “No one has ever done anything like this for me before. I just can’t believe you’re here! How long did it take you to get here?”
“Eight hours,” David confirmed. “It was worth every mile to see your face.”
Overwhelmed by the love David had demonstrated to me, I could barely stop the tears streaming down my face. “You don’t understand. You just don’t understand,” I kept saying.
Over the next few hours, I did my best to explain to David how his act of unselfish love had touched my soul deeper than anything he could have ever said to me.
For as long as I can remember, I have always felt unworthy. I’d been led to believe that my value was always tied to the tangible: how I looked, what I could do, and who I was compared to the rest of the world. I always fell short. I could never be pretty enough, smart enough, or anything else the world believed held value. This concept had been my truth throughout my broken marriages. I was never enough for anyone to love or consider worthy of their kindness, let alone their affection.
Worse yet, I had been repeatedly told that the vision I held in my heart of what love really is was unrealistic. “No one can love like you think they can,” was a frequent refrain. “That’s only in movies and fairy tales.”
And so that statement became my truth. The love depicted in movies was just make-believe. Books with happy endings were unrealistic. No one, not anyone on earth, could love me unselfishly, wholeheartedly – the way I wanted to be loved – without asking anything in return. No one, that is, until David.
In David, I have found the mirror image of my love for him, the kind of love God has for us all. Every day, David and I hug, laugh, kiss, and thank our Heavenly Father for the beautiful, merciful, undeserving, steadfast, unequivocal, unquenchable love we have for one another. We hold onto each other at every opportunity, thanking God for the gift of finding such love on earth. At every meal, our first mention in our prayers – while we’re holding on to one another, I might add – is to thank our Creator for the gift of love He’s established between us.
“Thank you, God, for your love,” I pray before every meal. “Thank you for tying David and I together with such an unbreakable bond, bound together with your presence that always surrounds us, for keeping us focused on you. We are so grateful. We can never thank you enough.”
God is the ultimate wall breaker and love maker. He is the one who was always with me, guiding David and me to the moment when we would meet, serve Him together in FL, and ultimately fall in love by seeing each other’s hearts for our Savior.
My whole life, I always knew my Creator loved me. That much has always been true. But it was only by surrendering my will to His and consistently praying for someone to love me like He did that I found my precious David. As it turns out, David was also seeking love like I was – someone to love like God does, with skin on it.
One year ago, yesterday, David proposed to me, and I immediately replied, “A million, trillion, ka-billion times, yes!” Today, as we are celebrating our 9-month wedding anniversary, I repeated the exact phrase over and over to him.
By the way, David still has the five-dollar tip I gave him as the rightful, hard-working delivery driver who came to my door on December 2nd, 2022.
That money pales in comparison to the gift of love we received from our Savior – both when we gave our hearts and lives to Him and when He gave us the long-held hope of genuine love here on earth. I can never thank God enough.
After all, only God could create such a love story from two seeking souls whose only desire was to serve their Creator.
Thanks to our Heavenly Father, we’re just getting started.
