Tag: #TrustinGod

Show me the next thing

Show me the next thing

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Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word. (Psalm 119: 37)

Throughout my last few blogs, I’ve shared my moral dilemma in working for a company actively promoting things that oppose my faith. New Age thinking is not something I can ever embrace. There is no symmetry between this religious lifestyle and my Christian beliefs. While I could also say the same about much of what standard corporate cultures promote, I’ve never been pushed to participate in activities that go against what I believe– until now. The bottom line is this: I cannot and will not join in anything I perceive as ungodly – in and out of the workplace. My faith is non-negotiable.

I honestly thank God for giving me such a deep sense of discernment. The father of one of my team members is a chaplain with Samaritan’s Purse – an organization that is near and dear to my heart. I initially thought her participation with this organization gave it credibility. What I’ve seen, instead, is that she, too, follows this culture rather than anything Christian she might have been taught to believe.  While I wonder if she’s seen behind the curtain as much as I have, I also witnessed her wholehearted participation and adoration of everything being promoted. That thought saddens me.

Here are a few things I’ve learned about the people my organization is partnering with over the past few weeks:

  • My boss has close ties with and endorses a husband-and-wife team of psychotherapists who perform psychedelic therapy. This treatment uses hallucinogenic or psychedelic drugs, such as LSD, to treat mental disorders.
    • My org organized Holotropic Breathwork (HB) sessions between these therapists, local firefighters, and river guides who were assisting with the recovery of bodies after Hurricane Helene hit the western NC region.
    • According to VeryWellMind.com, HB involves quickening one’s breathing patterns to achieve an “altered state of consciousness (without using drugs).”
    • Some practitioners use HB as a “spiritual practice rather than a therapeutic one,” believing that “this technique moves you forward to higher consciousness.”
  • I recently learned that my executive’s best friend claims to be a clairvoyant and “transformational healer.” In addition to helping her start her own “Center,” my boss is bringing her friend to a “partner dinner” to introduce her to our founder. The practices followed at my executive’s friend’s site are those my boss is working to implement on our property.
    • Per this individual’s website, transformational healing involves shifting energies to “unravel faulty beliefs,” a practice designed to help one “better connect with the Self.”
    • These sessions promise to help one develop a “deeper connection with the Divine.”
    • Suggested readings from this person’s website include the following:
      • Brunke. D. Animal Voices, Animal Guides: Discover Your Deeper Self through Communication with Animals
      • Ammon-Wexler, J. Pineal Gland & Third Eye: Develop Your Higher Self
      • Monroe, R. Journeys Out of the Body
      • Targ, R. The Reality of ESP: A Physicist’s Proof of Psychic Abilities
      • Stone, M. When God Was a Woman
      • Jones & Pennick. History of a Pagan Europe
      • Christ, C. Rebirth of the Goddess: Finding Meaning in Feminist Spirituality
      • Bhava, S. Transgender spirituality: Man into Goddess
      • Leloup, J. The Gospel of Mary Magdalene
      • McColman, C. The Big Book of Christian Mysticism: The Essential Guide to Contemplative Spirituality
Crane placement of the 8-ton quartz crystal.
  • After Thanksgiving, my boss texted photos to our team of the 8-ton quartz crystal placed in the woods in the perceived “energy vortex” of the land.
    • This stone was purchased in South America and took 3 weeks to ship to the U.S. and several days to be delivered to the Center.
    • The placement was guided by an Ecuadorian partner who believed it should be hidden where no one can find it to provide the “best energy and protection” to the site.
    • It took a team of five people to maneuver the giant crane into the woods, lift the crystal, lower it into the crevice, and position it in its new home.
    • The crystal stands nearly 12 feet tall and approximately 8 feet across.
A team of workers guided the 8-ton quartz rock into the land’s “vortex.”
  • A few weeks ago, a local chef we hired to cook for our founder, when she visits Marshall, started to cry after speaking to the executive chef who cooks for our CEO in the U.K.
    • When asked why she was crying, she talked about how hard it has been for her to now live in what she classified as the “Bible-belt” after having lived in Miami for years.
    • I worked with this chef during my two-week interval on campus while she catered several on-site meals. I learned that she “meditates” while cooking to “transfer [her] energy” to the food.
    • The chef also told all of us that she travels with her boyfriend around the state, providing sweat lodges at local New Age fairs. Her partner is the lodge’s “spiritual leader” whose role is to “connect individuals to the natural world and the spiritual realm.” Per momentslog.com, “The lodge represents the womb of Mother Earth, and the stones symbolize the bones of the Earth. The steam represents the breath of the Creator, and the prayers and songs carry the intentions and messages of the participants to the spiritual realm.”
Final placement of the quartz crystal.

As you can well imagine, I oppose all of the above. During my time in this role, I’ve realized that I haven’t been myself since I started this job. I can’t encourage anyone, celebrate their activities, or speak the language of my peers. While I do my job well, the nature of this work and the building of this vision is not one I can ever support. Unlike my team members, who gush over how much love and contentment they feel in their positions, I operate in survival mode.

The only bright time in the past two months was during my two weeks on-site in NC when David drove up so the two of us could serve with Samaritan’s Purse (SP) again. The base camp where we met our fellow believers was none other than the Billy Graham Training Center at the Cove, located in Asheville, NC. Driving onto this land that trains countless Christians to stand for their faith felt like coming home.

David and I were excited to assist Samaritan’s Purse after meeting our team at the Billy Graham Training Center at The Cove in Asheville, NC.

“These are my people,” I told David after seeing the familiar orange shirts of our fellow SP volunteers.

Our first day of volunteering took us to the home of a disabled woman who was raising her three grandchildren after her daughter died a few years ago. Their modular home had flooded during Hurricane Helene, so they were living in a rented trailer after spending the previous month in a local shelter. Her experience with the minimal shelter food and the dangerous aspects of living in this communal space shocked me. While she was there, she witnessed a policeman nearly shoot a dog that lunged at the officer while he was near her and her grandchildren.

The house across from where we were assisting Samaritan’s Purse in Fletcher, NC, had to be completely destroyed after being moved off its base by floodwaters caused by Hurricane Helene.

She also confessed to feeling afraid as several men dressed as women who were also living in the space started staring at her grandchildren – even following them into the public restrooms. The experience made her grateful to be home and reminded me of all the comforts I often take for granted.

While helping this needy mother and grandmother, we facilitated the total clean-out and gutting of her home to assist in salvaging whatever we could for her.

A familiar debris-pile soon formed outside this modular home, whose interior was completed destroyed by Hurricane Helene flooding.

During our lunch break, one of my fellow SP team members introduced herself to us. Shortly after she did so, I asked her to pray for my peace of mind regarding my job situation. After explaining the predicament I now find myself in, my sister-in-Christ objectively stated that my “presence helps [my employer] feel better about what they’re doing.” After talking, we prayed for my wisdom to know what to do and continued our work.

Flooding caused the floor tiles to buckle and nearly all belongings to be ruined in this Fletcher, NC, home.

Later in the day, SP Rapid Response Team chaplains stopped by to visit the homeowner and site. As they walked by me, one asked how I was doing. That was the only prompting I needed to share all that weighed heavily on my heart. After we prayed, the chaplain told me he didn’t need to advise me on handling this situation.

Despite severe flooding, an angel statue still watches over the back yard of this Fletcher, NC, home.

“I can see how much this is troubling you,” he said. “I believe you already know what to do. I think you should quit and trust all of this to God.” When I explained that I never quit without another job lined up, he said he’d continue praying for me. “You can serve God anywhere,” he said. “You don’t have to put yourself through all this to share His light with others.”

After the chaplain left, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. We came to minister to others, and instead, I was ministered to! The whole experience left me feeling uplifted and encouraged.

I’ve since prayed with our pastor in VA Beach and continued to surrender and petition God for His help.

I now know that I need to leave my current role. I’m praying hard that my heavenly Father will open the right door for me to go where He wants me to be next. I’ve applied for a position with my former employer and continue sending out resumes nearly daily. I trust my Savior to lead me and know He will – in His time.

This abandoned car’s seats, floor, and interior remain caked with mud when flood waters receded following Hurricane Helene.

Mid-December, I’m scheduled to travel to the U.K. with the rest of my U.S.-based team, where we are to participate in an abridged “team practice” day, followed by a Winter Party hosted by our founder. While I know I should be excited by this prospect, I dread it. I’m now praying that God will give me the right words to say at the right time to testify to my faith, whatever it costs me.

In the meantime, I’ll repeat: my faith is non-negotiable. All the way, my Savior leads me. I know He is with me every step of the way. I am confident that all of this will lead to an even more extensive testimony on my part. I am ready to reflect His light and love where I am and wherever He leads me.

David and I share a smile near the Samaritan’s Purse truck we worked from in Fletcher, NC.

I am never alone, nor are any of us. With God at our side, we can conquer any mountain – or even those who think the mountain’s energy comes from strategically placed rocks. God is in control of all of it. I am ready to do whatever God chooses to be the next thing in my life. 

Show me the next thing, Lord Jesus.

The conscience clause

The conscience clause

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You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. (James 4:4)

In today’s world, we are consistently asked to be tolerant of the beliefs of others. Unfortunately, tolerance seldom extends to those who have strong Christian beliefs. Instead, we are often told that Christianity is bigoted, intolerant, unloving, and discriminatory. Worse yet, Christians are consistently pushed to co-exist with other faiths. Even Pope Francis recently told a group of students that “all religions are a path to God.” I couldn’t disagree more.

Jesus said, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'” (John 14:6) I don’t know about you, but I will always heed Christ’s words before following anyone else’s guidance – even the Pope’s.

Jesus further instructed us to “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate, and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” (Matthew 7:13-14)

In my last post, I expressed my thoughts regarding how challenging it is for me to be pushed into New Age practices, including guided meditation, yoga, and spiritual banter, including talk of energy transference and “listening to the land.” If my faith was not so strong, perhaps I could go along with and participate in any of these activities or discussions without it meaning anything to me. It is, therefore, I can’t. Of additional consideration is the all-consuming, participatory expectation of this environment.

Throughout my career, I’ve grown accustomed to corporate offerings residing on a different level than the one in which my faith exists. Social activism, DEI initiatives, CRT training, and all things Pride and LGBTQ+ have become the norm in every environment I’ve ever worked in. These ideals regularly exist as part of the secular culture in today’s world. The one big difference between my former workplaces and where I am now is that no one ever made such activities and thoughts a mandatory part of my work.

This company is different. I’ve come to understand that embracing the spirituality of my new employment is the “mission” – which is not something I can ever do. In fact, my boss just told me to invite every on-site employee to a somatic yoga session she’s hosting while our CEO is in town. She balked when I suggested making some of our maintenance team members optional. “If you make them optional, they won’t come,” she told me. “I want everyone there. You’re the only exception since you won’t be in town.” It couldn’t be any plainer than that.

Fortunately, my Christian ideals will not allow me to fake acceptance of this culture. Instead, it has become oppressive to me. I use the word “fortunate” to describe my position, as there is a comfort in knowing that my faith is mightier than my workplace survival instincts.

I don’t think in terms of gray regarding faith and spirituality – nor does the Word of God. The Ten Commandments are unflinching rules given to humanity by our Creator. They are not suggestions.

Ephesians 6:16 tells us to “take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” I’ve been under significant spiritual attack since accepting this job. The devil has been shooting arrows at me since I first considered this role. While I initially believed God wanted me to walk through this door, I now think it was the devil who opened it. He knows he can’t steal my salvation, but he has tampered with my joy. I’m in a great time of testing to stay patient and focused on my Savior – despite the demonic attacks that are plaguing me.

Tolerance is one of the deadliest arrows in Satan’s arsenal. He uses it to water down the Gospel and confuse those not entrenched in His word. After all, what could sound more aspirational than tolerance? Isn’t it something we should all seek? Won’t tolerance bring more souls to Christ?

I’m afraid not. You see, God’s Word is incontrovertible. It’s also hard, at times, and we don’t always understand it.

But that’s okay. God is God. His power, dominion, and sovereignty are irrefutable. We shouldn’t want Him to be more acceptable to us. Instead, we should continually strive to do all we can to honor and revere His authority over us and all creation.

God is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. That thought gives me comfort. I want assurance in knowing that my Heavenly Father controls everything. I’ll say it again: God is in control of everything. That means that since He created us, He also knows what’s best for us and loves us with everlasting love. Nothing could ever be more significant or formidable than that.

I honor, respect, and serve my Creator. He loved me before I was born. How can I not give every portion of my existence back to Him – including how I spend my days working on this earth?

I want my life to be pleasing to my Savior. God hates sin – with a passion. He told us that we should do the same. Here are just a few passages regarding this reality:

  • You must not live according to the customs of the nations I am going to drive out before you. Because they did all these things, I abhorred them. (Leviticus 20:23)
  • For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness; with you, evil people are not welcome. (Psalm 5:4)
  • I abhor the assembly of evildoers and refuse to sit with the wicked. (Psalm 26:5)
  • Let those who love the Lord hate evil, for He guards the lives of His faithful ones and delivers them from the hand of the wicked. (Psalm 97:10)
  • I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it. (Psalm 101:3)
  • If we claim to have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. (1 John 1:6)
  • Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. (Ephesians 5:11)

That last verse has become one of my life verses. I’ve always been careful about who I associate with.1 Corinthians15:33 says, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.'”  Shouldn’t this standard also apply to those I spend my workday with? Should the work I support be any different than the company I choose to spend my time after work with? I don’t believe so. Not if I can help it.

A week ago Sunday, our director of energetic net offerings shared photos of a place he frequently visits in the mountains called Amadell. The location is about an hour away from our organization’s land. Following his photo-send, the director shared two pages in a book called The Spiritual Reawakening of the Great Smoky Mountains by Page Bryant. In his message, my team member called the location a “place for deep rejuvenation and meditation,” claiming that “the energetic clarity of that place is world-class.”

The Great Smoky Mountains as seen from the trails of Amadell, NC.

He also offered to take our team on a “pilgrimage” to Amadell, remarking that “this sacred site is not to be missed.”

Bryant, Page. The Spiritual Reawakening of the Great Smoky Mountains. Mystic Mountain Center, 1994. P. 93.

Following the photos were two pages taken from this book – one of this director’s new “favorites.” Ironically, these passages provide a more accurate portrayal of how my coworkers think and talk than anything I could ever describe on my own.

Per Bryant, “When I viewed Shining Rock Mountain clairvoyantly, I ‘saw’ that the peak has an indwelling spirit force unlike any I have ever seen. This great Mountain Deva appears to have a sheer, transparent form with great white wings and a pale complexion. Its crystal-like eyes radiate pure light like prisms. I felt a powerful and ancient energy being emitted by this Deva, a sound that is similar to a shrill, high-pitched whistle.

“I also sensed a ‘presence’ at Cold Mountain. It was a Being who appeared wrapped in a silvery cocoon-like aura that glimmers in the light of the sun and moon. I also sensed the mountain sending out an audible vibration that sounded like the howling of wind and I felt very strongly that the wind spirits frequently center themselves around the area. Both Shining Rock Mountain and Cold Mountain are wonderful places for recharging yourself on every level: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Crystal from Shining Rock (and the area surrounding it) would serve as a wonderful energy-giving sacred object when worn on the person, or when carried in a medicine bag, or held in the hand during ceremony. Physically, it would charge the body when one is experiencing low vitality. However, should you decide to take a small piece, remember to ask permission from the mountain first and leave an appropriate offering in its place.” (p. 94)[1]

Bryant, Page. The Spiritual Reawakening of the Great Smoky Mountains. Mystic Mountain Center, 1994. P. 94.

Before I go further, let me point out all the pagan references in the above passages.

  1. The author speaks of viewing the mountain “clairvoyantly “– meaning he was having an out-of-body experience at the time, or one in which he viewed things beyond his normal sensory perception.
  2. When Bryant refers to Cold Mountain as a “Deva,” he does not mean a prima donna or someone who thinks highly of themself. Per Symbolsage, “Devas are celestial beings that appear in Hinduism, Buddhism, and Zoroastrianism. They are described as “complex beings, with varied powers and roles.”
  3. The crystal structure of Shining Rock Mountain is considered a “sacred object” by Bryant, with special powers that can be captured, if allowed by the mountain itself and retained by whoever is fortunate to obtain a piece of it.

All of this sounds eerily similar to my boss’s new belief we should also “ask permission before crossing the threshold” of the woods that fill our company’s land. While this New Age speech is something I’m becoming more accustomed to hearing, it never ceases to amaze me at its absurdity. Who am I asking permission from? The trees? The land? The spirits they believe exist in the space? Whatever they perceive, it’s all God – even if they can’t acknowledge His presence.

Last Wednesday, my boss emailed me and our general manager affirming her desire for our team to visit Amadell as part of the new monthly, all-day “practice” sessions she wants to begin – mirroring what our U.K. team does. I couldn’t even respond.

Today, I am covering all this with prayer – even as I’m actively working to escape from this environment.

In the meantime, if necessary, I will stand firm in my faith and enact a conscience clause over these directives. Like Jack Phillips, the Colorado baker who refused to bake a wedding cake for a same-sex couple years ago, or Kim Davis, the county clerk who denied marriage licenses for the same purpose, or Dr. Eithan Haim, the Texas whistleblower who is being sued for reporting that the Texas Children’s Hospital was still performing gender surgeries on minors despite his state’s new law prohibiting the same, I, too, can’t go against my conscience to do something at work that violates my faith. While my ordeal may not be as dramatic as theirs, my predicament is no less burdensome.

For now, I’m praying for a miracle: a true divine intervention, an act of God. I serve an all-powerful Creator who knows the trouble that fills my soul at every new workplace revelation. Every day, I learn more about the beliefs, ideals, and intentions of our Center. Trust me. It’s not good. There is much more to say, but it must wait until next time.

Proverbs 28:5 reminds us, “Evildoers do not understand what is right, but those who seek the Lord understand it fully.”  What my team members are doing may seem perfectly normal to them. To me, it can never be.

For you, my readers and friends, this may not seem like much of a dilemma, but for me and my conscience, it is. The bottom line is that this work feels as abhorrent to me as if I was working for a palm reader or a pimp. I can no more align myself with that type of environment than I can with this one.   

I will leave you with these verses that summarize my stand. “Do not let my heart incline to any evil, to busy myself with wicked deeds in company with men who work iniquity and let me not eat of their delicacies! Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it. Yet my prayer is continually against their evil deeds.” (Psalm 141:4-5)

[1] Bryant, Page. The Spiritual Reawakening of the Great Smoky Mountains. Mystic Mountain Center, 1994.

For God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear

For God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear

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For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

A friend of mine recently reached out to ask if everything was alright. “I noticed you haven’t posted a blog in almost a month,” he observed. “Is everything okay or are you just busy?”

In response, I explained that between helping my husband, David, in VA Beach, two hurricanes, ending my former job, starting a new one, and my mom and brother coming for a three-week visit, it’s been a bit challenging to find time to write.

More than that, my new job has been completely overwhelming. While I started three blogs in three weeks, working 10–12-hour days while learning a new remote position and having virtually no work/life balance has been a more significant challenge than I ever could have anticipated.

As a start-up with a UK base, provision had yet to be made to provide me with a work laptop or mobile phone, for one thing. The expectation was for me to work from my personal devices – something I’d never anticipated doing in this or any other job.

Additionally, while I’m working remotely, my US home base is located in Marshall, NC – an area decimated by Hurricane Helene. In addition to the loss of life we discussed daily, the 27 feet of flood water that came raging through the town from the French Broad River blew out windows, twisted metal train tracks, and washed away complete sections of major highways. The devastation was unfathomable.

Main Street in Marshall following flooding from the French Broad River after Hurricane Helene raged through the area. (October 1, 2024). Photo credit: Josh Morgan, USA TODAY

The text messages from my teammates came hard and fast around the clock during this interval. Talk about starting a job in a windstorm. This was it! My first month of work was far from “normal,” as a result. Each of us helped with disaster response in our own way. Even in faraway GA, I made countless calls, documented local agencies that could help victims, and met virtually with my team members daily to discuss my company’s work to provide construction equipment, manpower, and resources to those working on the ground.

More than that, I was thrust headlong into the spirituality that permeates my new employer’s mission -without gentle ease of transport. While I was told that the organization’s mission is “non-denominational,” a decidedly New Age culture abounds in much of their talk and activities. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.

One Zoom call, for example, began with a ten-minute meditation session where all participants – including me – were asked to close our eyes, relax our bodies, and envision our spirits moving down into the earth and then back into our bodies, and up into “a golden ball of light above [ourselves].” The leader continued telling us to envision ourselves as “incredible, divine, phenomenal beings.” We were then told to return that light and energy to our “higher selves and the divine beings that [we] are.”

While I protected myself from these thoughts by praying to God throughout the session, I was stunned to be subjected to this type of activity without my notification or consent. My boss later called me to ask my thoughts regarding the experience.

“You’re my litmus test,” she said. “What did you think of it?”

After uttering a whispered prayer to God for help, I told her I appreciated the importance of deep breathing and relaxation – especially given everything our team had been exposed to during our hurricane response work.

“But what did you really think?” she asked again. “I’d like to know your thoughts.”

At that point, I explained that I had mixed reactions.

“There were things I appreciated – like the deep breathing and relaxation directions,” I replied. “But others – like talk of the divine – that go against my faith. I can’t participate in that. I just prayed through it – in my own way.”

“That’s good,” my boss said. “There are many ways to experience things. That’s all we ask.”

While I was happy to reaffirm my faith and the lines I can’t cross – much as I did before I accepted this position – by the weekend, I was frazzled, frustrated, and flabbergasted by what I would be exposed to regularly. Every day, it seemed, something new shocked me – whether by messages in group chats, emails, or meetings discussing this organization’s nature.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” I told David after a particularly challenging day. “These people don’t think like I do. How can I support it? I really felt like God was leading me here – and I told my boss exactly who I am, as a Christian, before I took this job. Sooner or later, I’m going to be asked to defend my faith, big time. I don’t know how this is going to end.”

“You do what you have to do, love,” David told me. “If you can’t do this, I completely understand. We’ll get by. I support you in whatever decision you make.”

After being emotionally overwhelmed one evening, I began watching YouTube videos of individuals talking about God. In story after story, I heard atheists and others explain how our Creator became real to them and empowered their daily lives.   

As David called me later to read our daily scripture passages together (I read the Old Testament passages, and he reads the New Testament plus a Psalm and several Proverbs), I told him what I’d watched that evening.

“I can do this, love,” I said through tears. “I need to stay plugged into scripture, music, and videos that remind me that I’m not alone in this battle. God is with me. Pastor Mark told me this would be my toughest job – and he was right. I may not yet know why God placed me in this role, but He’ll show me. I’m here for a reason. I have to stay prayed up and armored up. He’ll show me what to do.”

That was a week ago. Today, my boss asked for my input, as a Christian, regarding a potential corporately sponsored conference being considered in December.

“I’d like to have your opinion, Sara,” my boss asked. “We want to have faith leaders from the community come to this event. How do you think they’ll react?”

“I think it depends on who is speaking at the event,” I replied. My boss concurred. “I also think that hosting an event in a little over a month, asking members of the faith community to support you during the month of December, while the focus is on Christmas, may not go over well.”

“That’s also right at the start of Advent season,” I further explained. “Church leaders may not think favorably about you asking them to participate in an event to discuss the science of spirituality while they’re focusing on the birth of Christ.”

After asking me to explain what Advent is, my boss said she agreed with my thoughts and would take them back to upper management in consideration of postponing the proposed conference until after December.

“Today was a good day,” I later told David. “Today, my boss did what she said she would. She asked me to give my opinion as a Christian regarding how believers would react to their initiatives. It felt good to talk about Jesus.”

As David and I read our evening scripture, I was ecstatic at God’s written reminders to always serve my Creator and not be afraid to stand firm in my faith – even in the workplace. In 2 Timothy 1:7-8, for example, we read, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Therefore, do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me, His prisoner, but share with me the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God.

Hallelujah! I thought. God is always with me. I never have to fear anything the world – or workplace – throws at me.

“What a beautiful scripture,” I told David. “That’s precisely what I needed to hear today. God will always give me the right things to say at the right time. I will never be afraid to say them!”  

In further validation of God’s love and provision, our Psalm reading for the today was my favorite – Psalm 91.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, “You are my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely, He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler, and from the deadly plague. He will cover you with His feathers; under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the calamity that destroys at noon. Though a thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, no harm will come near you. You will only see it with your eyes and witness the punishment of the wicked. Because you have made the LORD your dwelling — my refuge, the Most High — no evil will befall you, no plague will approach your tent. For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. They will lift you up in their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and cobra; you will trample the young lion and serpent. “Because he loves Me, I will deliver him; because he knows My name, I will protect him. When he calls out to Me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him. With long life, I will satisfy him and show him My salvation.”

I can only say Amen and Thank you, Jesus! Forgive my fear and frustration. I know You are always with me. You placed me here for Your divine purpose. While I may not always know what that purpose is, and while my days may be challenging – full of thoughts contrary to Your Word – I know You will guide, strengthen, and empower me. I will always be your servant, and I will always trust in You. Show me Your way, Lord Jesus. Give me Your words when I need them. Let me be Your light wherever You need it to shine. Lead on, King Jesus. Thank you for loving fallible me. I am nothing without You.”

And so, I will continue to shine on, wearing my cross necklace in every meeting I’m involved in, smiling through the worldly concepts that will always fall short of the joy only God can give. I will be the “token” Christian on staff. I will shine God’s light and let Him use me however He sees fit. It’s not up to me to change anyone. I will, however, keep being who He wants me to be, and I will be unflinching in my faith – no matter the cost.
God establishes our steps

God establishes our steps

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In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

Being chosen is one thing. Being selected after initially rejecting, auditioning three times, and then praying for validation with absolute certainty by God is quite another feeling entirely. Please allow me to explain what I mean.

I closed my laptop for the last time at my former job a few days ago. It still hasn’t fully hit me yet, but my life is about to change dramatically with my new employer. I was recruited for this job through an executive search company. While I will still be an executive assistant, this role is entirely different because of the corporate structure, mission, and my executive’s background. My new company is small, based out of the United Kingdom, and wholly funded by a billionaire hedge fund manager the British government knighted for his philanthropic work.

If that’s not impressive enough, the executive I will support was voted as one of Fortune magazine’s “World’s 50 Greatest Leaders” – alongside Prince Harry and Meghan Markle as well as Bill and Melinda Gates in the same year. In addition to her charitable work, serving as CEO of an organization that worked to end five of the world’s Neglected Tropical Diseases (NTDs) – ultimately administering over 700 million NTD treatments – she led international programs for Operation Smile and disaster response for International Medical Corps. With service in over 70 different countries, board service to groups such as the World Economic Forum’s Global Health Security Advisory Board, and ultimately writing a book whose forward was written by Bill Gates, there can be no question as to the extraordinary work accomplished by the woman who chose me to assist her.

How on earth did I get here? How did this role ever come to find little old me? I can only answer, “It had to be God.”  I make that statement with absolute assurance. It has nothing to do with me.

For starters, I initially turned down the role after being asked to apply. While that may sound shocking, my rationale was solidly founded. First and foremost, I wasn’t sure my faith could support the prospective company I was being asked to work for.

My faith means everything to me. After my initial research into the philanthropic organization, I said, “Thanks, but no thanks,” to the recruiter – citing pay as my rationale. The salary threshold being close to my former position’s, it was simple to decline the role with that excuse.

When the recruiter reached out again – a whole week later – assuring me that the employer could go higher, I talked to David. My initial rejection was due to my faith, but that was before a small voice inside me said there may be a godly reason why you should be there. I couldn’t discount that thought.

Countless times in my past, I have felt strongly that my Heavenly Father put me in a position to be His light in a dark place. How could I so quickly turn a similar situation down? Those thoughts filled my head even before the recruiter reached out again. “I need to apply,” I told David. “God is in control. Let’s see what happens.”

What occurred next blew my mind. After submitting my application and writing sample (required in this role), I interviewed with the third-party recruiter. I was asked to meet with the search committee for a second interview one week later. Still unsure of how I felt about the role, I nevertheless wanted to do my best.

Unfortunately, my tech wouldn’t work on the interview day, and my test Zoom call with David, who was in VA Beach then, was a complete failure. “I can’t hear anything you’re saying on the call,” David said. Try as I might, my speakers wouldn’t connect.

Minutes before the interview, I told David I needed to pray.

“You’re in control, Lord Jesus,” I said. “I’m afraid I will look like an absolute fool, but I’m giving this all to you. Please help this work out if it is Your will. Your words. My lips.”

Upon connecting, the hiring manager confirmed my fears. “I can’t hear you,” Helen (name changed) said. Praying silently and frantically again, I clicked something on my computer, and miraculously, everything was perfect. I can’t even be sure what I did. The action must have emanated from God.

Forty-five minutes into the interview, Helen noted that I’d mentioned having “a strong faith” in response to how I handle stress. I further discussed my mission trip to Nicaragua after Helen talked about witnessing global poverty – something I confirmed having also seen first-hand and been affected by.

“You mentioned your faith several times,” Helen noted. “I’m curious about your spiritual journey. You know this is a non-denominational position. Tell me about your faith and how you’d handle working with others whose own path might be very different than your own.”

“I’m a Christian,” I immediately responded. “My faith governs every aspect of my life. It’s who I am and the biggest part of my character. That being said, I completely respect the fact that everyone has to make their own spiritual journey. I will never judge anyone whose experience is different from my own.”

After the interview ended -15 minutes later than initially intended – I called David and my brother to explain what happened during the call. “I’ve never been asked about my faith in an interview before,” I gushed. “No matter what happens, I feel incredibly blessed that God allowed me to testify to what I believe in. God opened my microphone, yes, but He also gave me the voice to say, ‘I’m a Christian’ in profound way.”

A week later, the hiring manager herself called to connect with me again – this time asking me to fly to meet over Labor Day, requesting an entire day to show me around their Center and spend more time with me in in-person. After working out the specifics, my ticket and overnight accommodations were purchased, and my trip was ready to begin.

Despite the devil doing everything to keep me away – including a delayed flight, a missed connection, a canceled flight, and the inability to get an Uber from the airport after midnight – I slept a few hours. I met Helen and a few of her “guests” a short time later for breakfast.

Conversations over the breakfast table left me questioning anew whether this job was right for me.

The on-site events further solidified the same musings. Over the course of the day, I heard about the “Sound Ceremony” the group celebrated the evening before, witnessed an indigenous guest stand in the mud that was “calling him,” and learned that another guest was an astrologer who frequently gave readings to those whose events she participated in.

“These people are worshiping creation,” I later told David. “I worship the Creator. I don’t know if this could ever be right.”

The 500 acres my new employer owns in North Carolina are a testament to the beauty of God’s creation.

For this reason, I told Helen I needed some time to talk to my husband before I could accept the job offer she graciously extended to me at the end of the day. “We wouldn’t have brought you here if we didn’t think you were the one we wanted in this role,” she told me. “I think you’d be perfect for it.”

I couldn’t yet say the same, and Helen was visibly stunned by my admission. I just wasn’t sure and needed to pray.

Later that evening, after talking to David, I began earnestly petitioning God.

“Lord,” I began, “I don’t know what to do. How can this be right for me? I love Helen’s heart already, and the offer is so generous – but how can I do this?”

It was then that the thought came to me, “Tell Helen how you feel.”

I had been transparent throughout every interaction I’d had to that point – even telling Helen about my past abusive relationships, something that shocked me after my admission. Instead of being horrified at my faux pax, Helen told me she was proud of me and said she knew I would use my past to help others in the future. I had been entirely candid with Helen and knew the same thing was required regarding my faith. I needed to explain my thoughts – no matter what happened.

Hard hats were required as I visited a building under construction during my all-day interview.

On the way home the next day, I reached out to one of the chaplains I’d bonded with during my first Samaritan’s Purse work. After explaining the situation and my proposed response, my friend promised to pray that I would have clear guidance regarding what I should do and say.  

Following my discussion with David upon my return to VA Beach, I asked Helen if I could talk to her the following day to clarify an important matter. We made plans to speak the next morning.

When Helen and I spoke the following day, I explained how an activity we’d shared on-site had affected me. Two days prior, Helen and another guest had laid flowers on and around a statue I didn’t recognize. The act made me pause, step back, and pray.

“Forgive me, Jesus,” I silently petitioned. “I can’t do that. That’s not right.” After learning that the statue was of a Buddhist goddess, I knew my instincts were correct. I needed to explain the same to Helen.

I picked flowers and vegetables from one of the gardens I visited on my site tour.

“In the garden,” I began, “I didn’t know anything about Quan Yin. but I knew in my heart that I couldn’t do what you were doing. Before we go further, I need to explain there are lines I can’t cross. In Christianity, I can’t offer any worship, adoration, or token to anything other than God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit. That’s sacred to me. I can’t cross that line.”

“I fully respect that,” Helen said. “In fact, I’ve been thinking we need a Christian on staff to help us in decision making. We may actually take that statue out as I don’t think we should have any icons of any type if we’re going to be non-denominational. If you’d like to” she continued, “I can connect you with someone who may speak your language better than I can.”

After agreeing, Helen introduced me to Mark, co-founder and CEO of Mana Nutrition, an organization that creates ready-to-use (RTU) foods to help the world’s malnourished to survive, sustain, and thrive. Mark and his wife spent ten years as missionaries in Uganda – one of the countries they now serve with their product. Incredibly, their manufacturing facility resides about 2.5 hours northwest of where I live, and they’re currently building a warehouse near my former place of employment. This additional connection to me was profound, considering that their headquarters is in NC.

Adding to that, I was surprised to learn that Mana is primarily funded by the same billionaire that bankrolls my new company. “In fact,” Mark explained, “I’ve known [your potential employer] for the past 13 years.”  

Additionally, after hearing my story of how David and I met through Samaritan’s Purse (SP), Mark told me that Mana Nutrition is the number one supplier of RTUs to SP. God’s fingerprints are all over this work – whether they even realize it or not.

As we discussed my trepidation about the role, Mark put my fears to rest. “The way I see it, you’ve been given an opportunity to be a Jesus follower in a rare spot,” – an astute observation that immediately made me smile as it put my spirit at ease. “Think about Paul speaking to the residents in Athens who worshiped so many gods that idol-makers were everywhere. “He didn’t have to go there and talk to them, but he did. We can’t sit in a box and expect to make a difference.”

Over the next few hours, Mark and I spoke of our shared faith, willingness to go wherever God leads, and do whatever we’re asked to do. “You will be challenged more than you’ve ever been in this job,” Mark observed, “but I believe you’re being called to do it.”

I was filled with God’s presence as I walked through the woods during my site tour.

An hour later, I signed the job offer letter and spoke to Helen one last time. “I’m sending you the agreement,” I told her. “I’m so excited to accept.”

“That makes me happy,” Helen said. “I heard from my number two candidate today and she wanted to meet with me in-person. I wasn’t sure what you would say so I didn’t want to turn her away – but I really wanted Sara.” I have no doubt Helen felt my joy at hearing that affirmation as I clapped my hands in response and assured her of my enthusiastic acceptance.

After petitioning God for direction and consulting with other believers, I have perfect peace about this new position. As Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory.” How very true that is!

I always pray that God will guide my steps, open the doors that should be opened, and close those I shouldn’t walk through. Throughout this decision-making process, I believe my Heavenly Father not only opened doors but also blasted down any walls that stood in my way, saying, “Go, my child. I am with you.”

God will always guide us down the paths we should follow, just as He did with me during my all-day interview in the mountains near Marshall, NC.

I can’t even imagine what will lie ahead, but I’m excited to see where God takes me next. While I may have thought I was plotting my course a few times in life, I now know that by surrendering to my Creator, yet again, He is establishing my steps down a path I might never have taken on my own.

To be chosen is one thing. To be given the words, peace, and guidance I prayed for by God is quite another thing entirely. Above all, this I know: I am incredibly blessed.
Be Brave – Politics and religion must mix

Be Brave – Politics and religion must mix

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Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect. (1 Peter 3:15)

Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion is.” I couldn’t agree more. Taking it a step further, I believe our connection to God should impact every aspect of our lives – including formulating our worldview and determining how we vote.

For countless ages, most of us have lived by the adage that tells us, “Politics and religion don’t mix.” Both subjects are incontrovertibly controversial. And both can turn the best of friends into the bitterest of enemies. But does that mean that we should keep the two apart? Perish the thought. While I wouldn’t recommend sitting your climate-change-confirming cousin next to your Southern Baptist brother at the next family BBQ, it’s time for us as Christians to stop being afraid to speak about our values in the political arena. After all, if we remain mute, the opportunity to stand up for our faith may soon be lost forever.

When I started this blog in 2019, I was determined to focus on anything but politics. Restraining my conservative leanings seemed prudent in the establishment of this forum.  I’ve mostly stuck to that mindset over the years – but not anymore. I now believe that sharing my thoughts regarding political matters can help further my calling to encourage – in a whole new way. Don’t we all thrive in unity? Are we not stronger together? Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Through our combined strength, we can better stand for Christian values in a world ready to dismiss them. Discussing political matters with others – especially while espousing a Biblical perspective – helps us strengthen our values, protect our faith, and fortify our resolve to lead lives worthy of our calling.

My political expression is nothing new: it began long before my blog did. Apart from serving in several state and federal electoral campaigns, I became a community columnist for my local WV newspaper, The Martinsburg Journal, in 2009. What a thrill it was to see my words in print! Even more gratifying was the affirmation I received from readers, who were equally delighted by the evidence that our conservative values were alive and well in a world where the media would have us think otherwise.

A scrapbook clipping of one of my community columns under my former name.

While actively writing for the paper, another opportunity to stand up for my values presented itself. A few months into the Obama administration, a new grassroots organization appeared on the scene and spread like wildfire across our nation.

Like the patriots of 1773 who cast their tea into the Boston Harbor in protest of the British monarch’s excessive taxation on our new republic, a call to organize Tax Day protests caught my attention. When one of my readers suggested I become a Tea Party leader, I heeded the call and sprang into action. Before I could say, “No new taxes,” I was giving speeches in the town square, surrounded by fellow conservatives, holding hand-made signs voicing protest against our government’s recent actions.

My fellow Blue Ridge Patriots and I took our hand-made signs and flag to the nation’s capital in Sept. 2009. (Martinsburg Journal)

Not wanting to lose the momentum or unity, our group organized further – officially becoming the Blue Ridge Patriots. In addition to holding subsequent Tea Parties to raise awareness of our thoughts and values, we hosted a Patriot’s Picnic on July 4, stood vigil outside our local IRS office, and united with nearly 100,000 other Tea Partiers from across the country in our nation’s capital. On September 12, 2009, I joined my fellow Blue Ridge Patriots in carrying a 40-foot garrison flag to U.S. Capitol grounds. There was joy in our harmony and comfort in our camaraderie. I’ve never been prouder to be an American than I was that day.

Second from the right, I am pictured here with my fellow Blue Ridge Patriots as we held our 40-foot garrison flag above the Capitol lawn during our four-hour Tea Party event in Washington, DC.

Between the affirmation I received from my column and the shared thoughts we espoused in Tea Party events, one thing always struck me: the demonstration of bravery instills courage in others. It is easy to remain silent when we fear standing alone. Conversely, the masses find strength when even a few intrepid spokespeople stand up. Now is the time to raise our voices before government-controlled “hate speech” laws become the rule of the land. There is more at stake than values in our culture. The fundamental right to speak from our hearts, parent from our consciences, and worship how we choose are on the table in the upcoming election season and beyond.

We’re at a crossroads in our country. Right now, our nation is more divided than ever before. The media is no longer unbiased. Censorship is rampant. Radicalism is on the rise while Christian values are at an all-time low. But why are so many believers timid about verbalizing their beliefs? Is it not because the devil has made us afraid? Is not fear one of his greatest weapons? Rather than be bold believers like the early apostles, we’re hesitant to stand up, scared to offend, and afraid to look “different.” It’s time we overcame our fear and started using our voices to speak out. I, for one, am determined to do so.

Do we believe God’s Word anymore? If we do, we can’t be afraid to stand up for its truth. Silence is not just complacency; it’s enablement. We, as Christians, can no longer be mute in response to the evils taking over our culture, workplaces, schools – and, yes – even our churches.

Our Blue Ridge Patriots were joined by thousands of others from across the nation as we marched on Washington, DC in September 2009.

As Joshua directed the Israelites to take a stand for God as his nation was about to enter the long-awaited Promised Land, so we should also encourage one another to stand and move forward in the Battle for the Soul of our Nation – whether that be in the classroom, the boardroom, the public square, or in the White House.

“But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15)

A clipping from the Martinsburg Journal details the flag our Tea Party group carried into Washington DC in Sept. 2009.

The time is now, beloved. Who are you standing for? What is important to you? As the Apostle Paul told us in Romans 8:31, “If God is for us, who can be against us?”

My faith informs every part of my life. Christianity isn’t just a religion. It’s a relationship that permeates every fiber of my being – including how I talk, what I value, and how I vote. I can’t separate it from my existence. As James 2:26 reminds us, “As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.” We are what we believe.

While no one can be sure who first said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing,” the sentiment remains the same. Christians can no longer remain silent while evil is running so rampant. As the Apostle Paul said in his letter to the Ephesians, “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible – and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said: ‘Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’ “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” (Chapter 5: 11-16)

This political cartoon from 2009 exemplifies the hatred that comes when you stand up for what you believe in. When what you’re doing is unpopular, it’s demonized. Perception is often far from reality. Be prepared and stay undaunted.

It’s time to be fearless – right here, right now, in this place, and in this time. Politics and religion must mix if we are to save our nation from the demonic forces taking over everything. We must be lionhearted if we care about our beliefs and “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks [us] to give the reason for the hope that [we] have.” (1 Peter 3:15)

We must never be fearful to stand up for our faith and values. As Joshua 1:9 reminds us, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away

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“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” (Job 1:21)

On March 12, 2023, my God-ordained husband put a ring on my finger, and I became Mrs. David Robert Olson. On July 31, 2024, I reflexively rubbed my fingers across that same ring as I always did, only this time, something was wrong. This time, the precious gem that had sealed my engagement and marriage was gone.

My empty ring casing, as I discovered it on my hand.

The diamond in my engagement ring held great significance to me. Decades before David and I ever met, my sister, Jackie, gifted me with a diamond for no discernible purpose. The gem came to me in its original pendant setting out of the blue – without a chain or explanation. I wrote all about the ring in my blog entitled, God is in this story – Part 1, The Ring.  

My sister was living in Fort Myers, FL, at the time and was currently struggling through her second difficult marriage. I always suspected she wanted it to be stored somewhere safe, as she told me to “just save it.” And so, save it, I did, seldom giving it any thought as it sat in its used, orange felt jewelry box, tucked away inside a box of other keepsake items I still have.

Less than five years later, Jackie moved to Colorado to reestablish her life with a new husband. Tragically, Jackie’s time there was short-lived. A few years into their marriage, my sister and her 14-year-old daughter, Ashley, were killed by Jackie’s husband.

When God first led me to assist Samaritan’s Purse with disaster relief work after Hurricane Ian decimated parts of Florida in 2022, I had a choice of three different locations from which to labor – Englewood, Punta Gorda, or Fort Myers. I chose Fort Myers partly in honor of my sister, but also because I wanted to serve in the area hardest hit by that historic Category 4 hurricane. Above all, I wanted to be God’s hands and feet where I hoped I’d be most needed.

While these shrimp boats were left stranded on dry land in Ft. Myers, FL, after Hurricane Ian, David and I couldn’t help smiling at how God could bring beauty from ashes as he brought the two of us together through the storm.

Regardless of what brought me to Fort Myers, David’s and my mutual surrender to our Savior brought us together. Had either of us rejected God’s calling, we would have missed the biggest blessing of our lives – finding each other. That thought seldom leaves my mind. I enjoy recounting it at every telling of our story.

Psalm 37:4 has become my life verse: “Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” My life is a living testament to the veracity of that promise.

But I digress. As anyone who knows me will attest, I’ve never been someone who wears expensive jewelry. Having a real diamond on my finger – especially given how and why it got there – has always seemed incredulous to me, on many levels. Every time I looked at that ring, it shocked me anew. So many miraculous things have happened since I fully surrendered to God on that fateful journey in October 2022. I often find myself questioning how it all came together.

What led my sister to send me her diamond all those years ago? How did two broken people from different states, separated by hundreds of miles, healed by Christ, find themselves in a disaster zone together, become best friends, discover themselves as soulmates, and eventually marry – five short months later? How did that diamond stay in a keepsake box over two decades only to be expertly crafted into a ring that would seal the vows I said to my greatest love on our wedding day? How did my best friend from Bulgaria still have a hand-made wedding dress, inexplicably hand-delivered to her in the U.S. from her father, waiting in her garage to gift me to wear the day I got married? How did a hand-beaded garment created for someone in another country happen to be ready for me at the precise moment I needed it? How did that dress fit me so expertly over ten years after it was first created for another person I didn’t even know then? How on earth did anything between and surrounding David’s and my meeting ever happen?

Our wedding day, March 12, 2023

There is only one indisputable answer to all those questions: God. Our Creator preordained every part of my life to be precisely how it is today – including my meeting and marrying David. My Heavenly Father loves me. Everything I have, everything that comprises the life I now live, was given to me by God. One of my favorite Bible verses has always been James 1:17, which says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” To that, I can only say, “Amen” and “Hallelujah!”

I know how blessed I have always been. I am nothing without Christ and would have nothing without God’s goodness and grace. I am forever grateful for all the blessings lovingly bestowed upon me by my Heavenly Father.

I also know that nothing touches my life without God allowing it to do so – good or bad. I accept that. Am I sad when things don’t turn out how I want them to? Of course. I am, after all, unquestionably human. I feel joy as deeply as I do pain, sorrow, and disappointment.

As such, I was initially devastated to discover that my precious diamond had been ripped out of its setting and seemingly lost to me forever. This once-forgotten gem meant a lot to me, after all. Still, I am blessed with an exceedingly greater treasure in God and David. When I tearfully shared the news of the loss to my husband, he melted my heart with his beautiful response: “You’ll never lose me, love.” I will forever hold the beauty of that statement close to my heart.

David and I celebrate the creation and receipt of our two wedding rings in January 2023.

And so, after searching for my wayward gem as much as possible, I let it go. While I may always wonder if it will turn up one day as my precious cross necklace did, I will not over-mourn its loss. After all, I still have a lovely wedding band on my finger, indelible memories in my heart, and a devoted husband by my side. With all that, I have more than I ever thought possible – all gifted to me by Heavenly Father.

Knowing that statement to be gospel truth, I can honestly say without reservation, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” (Job 1:21).

No matter what, I will never stop praising my Savior.

Whoever has ears, let them hear.

Whoever has ears, let them hear.

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Whoever has ears, let them hear. (Matthew 13:9)

On Saturday, July 13th, the devil used a confused young man to carry out an act that forever changed our nation. As former President Donald J. Trump took the stage at a Butler, PA campaign rally, 20-year-old Thomas Matthew Crooks fired at him from the rooftop of a perimeter building less than 500 feet away. Crooks’ bullet was fired to kill. God’s hand was raised to save.

As Trump turned his head a nano-second before the bullet reached him, the deadly projectile cut through Trump’s right ear rather than his eye, ripping the flesh but sparing the life of a political leader that God isn’t done with yet. This split-second action led the former president to declare that “God alone” spared him – a testament that propelled energy nearly as powerful as the bullet itself.

(Image credit: Evan Vucci)

Evangelical and political leaders across the globe echoed Trump’s statement, declaring God’s hand of sovereign protection over our nation’s former president.

Franklin Graham, CEO of Samaritan’s Purse and the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, said, “I join with millions of Americans and people all around the world who are thanking God that former President Donald Trump is safe. It is obvious that God’s hand of protection was on him.”

(Image credit: Source unknown)

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) pronounced, “God protected Donald Trump.”

Tony Suarez, vice president of the National Hispanic Christian Leadership Conference, quoted the following scripture on the social media platform X shortly after the shooting: “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: My God; in Him will I trust.” (Psalm 91:1-2 KJV)

Sen. Tim Scott (R-SC) enthusiastically testified to his belief in divine intervention when he spoke at the Republican National Convention following the shooting. “If you didn’t believe in miracles before Saturday,” Scott said, “you better be believing right now!”  

Not content to leave his praise there, Scott continued, “Thank God we live in a country that still believes in the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the Alpha and Omega. Our God still saves, still delivers, and He still sets free…”

As miraculous as this day was, tragedy still befell the crowd. A devoted father and former fire chief, Corey Comperatore (age 50), died protecting his family from the would-be assassin’s bullets. Two other patriots, David Dutch (age 57) and James Copenhaver (age 74), were in critical and now stable condition. We can’t begin to speculate about why God allowed a heroic Christian father to die and two others to be so mercilessly wounded on that fateful field in PA. No one can understand the mind of our Creator. One life was spared, and another one taken. That’s up to our Heavenly Father to decide.

And yet, our nation is now talking about God. In the media, in the workplace, and across the family table, many who never speak about Christianity are now doing so. Even if that were the only reason this fateful act took place, it would be worth it.

I believe that my Almighty Creator’s sovereign hand rests over everyone and everything that has ever walked and will ever walk the face of this earth. There’s no doubt in my mind that what we witnessed in that field in PA was nothing short of a miracle.

For the past decade, evangelical leaders have called for a spiritual revival in our nation. We’re seeing one right now. Over the past week, I’ve heard more scripture quoted at the Republican National Convention than I believe has ever been recited in the political arena. The name of Jesus was proclaimed, prayed, and praised across the airways in such a manner that I often felt I was watching a Billy Graham crusade rather than a government event. Franklin Graham, Billy’s son, actually heralded the gospel message on prime-time television – something that might never have happened had the events of July 13th not occurred. As arms were raised at event-night benedictions, my heart soared at the sound of praise to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

No matter how you feel about the candidates, no one can deny that our nation has been knocked to its knees. Rather than mourning a lost leader, we are joyously thanking an Almighty God and forging bonds of unity where once division only existed. We are celebrating a divine victory. We are raising the name of Jesus to the heavens and asking Him to bless us, consecrate this political election, and restore our nation.

2 Chronicles 7:14 tells us, “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and heal their land.”

Thanks to what they witnessed during that fateful Saturday – and what they’ve heard exclaimed since then by heads of state, political leaders, and evangelical pastors – countless persons across the country are all looking heavenward. Now is the time to petition our Heavenly Father wholeheartedly to help our nation return to its Christian foundations. We can no longer hesitate to speak out and reclaim the ground we’ve surrendered to the devil. It’s time to stand up as Christians, to be bold in our faith, and prepare ourselves to do battle against the devil, even as we shout, “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

Praying for and promoting what our Founders fought for – religious liberty, the sanctity of life, and freedom from oppression – can only serve to unite and elevate our nation. Prayer is our best and only hope. We can’t be a City on a Hill, shining our bright light to the world, without placing our hope and faith in the only one who can save us – Jesus Christ our Savior.

And so, I ask you today to consider that God allowed the bullet that struck former President Trump’s ear to graze him for a reason – to get him and everyone who saw his bloodied ear to listen to God. Whoever has ears, let them hear. (Matthew 13:9)

Once upon a time, we were one nation under God, that governed with liberty and justice for all. I pray that we can return to be that true beacon of hope and light to the world around us. We can be if we unite together under Christ. God can only use us for His great purpose if we open our hearts, minds and ears to hear His profound guidance.

Give me your eyes

Give me your eyes

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Open my eyes, that I may behold wonderful things from Your law. – Psalm 119:18

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had “bad eyes.” Translation? I have less than stellar vision – and that’s putting it mildly.

I’ll never forget the time an optometrist told me that I was as “blind as a bat.” As awful as that sounds, he wasn’t too outrageous in his assessment. According to the American Academy of Ophthalmology, mild nearsightedness is defined as vision between -0.25 and -2.00. Severe nearsightedness begins at -5.00. My left eye is -8.50, while my right is -9.00. That isn’t good. For obvious reasons, I’ve never taken my vision for granted.

I’ve worn glasses since I was in First Grade, and until just a few years ago, my nearsightedness has steadily gotten worse every year. I secretly declare a small victory whenever I hear an optometrist say, “Your prescription hasn’t changed,” during an annual exam.

While my vision is blessedly correctable with lenses, eyeglasses make me dizzy due to the dramatic difference between the glass correction and my blurry periphery vision. Contact lenses have been a game-changer for me. I’ve been wearing them since I was eighteen.

Adding to the fun of my eye challenges are my ocular migraines. These particular headaches present as a zigzag aura that appears in my field of vision. The aura manifests as a jiggling lightning bolt that gets bigger and bigger until I can hardly see anything – almost as if I’ve stared at the sun for too long, causing my vision to disappear slowly.

The first time this happened to me, I was driving on the Baltimore Expressway – in the fast lane. Needless to say, it completely freaked me out. Thankfully, I don’t get migraines too often – but whenever I do, I thank God that my vision always comes back – which is why my latest visual dilemma has been so challenging.

Recently, I had an ocular migraine that was precipitated by a different type of impediment. After a day of heavy yard work, I noticed a line in my right field of view while walking into my backyard. My first thought was that I had blinked an eyelash onto my contact as whenever I tried to look directly at the line, it blinked away. I didn’t give it too much thought until the migraine aura came into view. At that point, I knew I had precious little time to medicate before a full-blown migraine set in.

Thankfully, I have a prescription that helps diminish my migraine’s intensity if taken within the first 10 minutes of the onset. In this instance, I took my pill and allowed myself a much-deserved rest while recovering.

The following day, David and I drove to VA Beach to work on his house renovations again. I could still see the line over my right eye – only now it had a few companions. Attributing the oddity to leftover migraine effects, I didn’t say anything to David. It wasn’t until we arrived safely at his VA house that I admitted to being challenged while driving in the rain that afternoon. My vision had been impaired during the journey, so I knew I needed to see an eye doctor that week.

After securing an appointment, I began researching “Floaters.” For whatever reason, I felt this might be what I had, despite not knowing anything about the condition. It didn’t take long to verify my suspicions. 

Floaters are lines or spots in one’s vision that move around when you try to look at them. According to the Mayo Clinic, “Most eye floaters are caused by age-related changes that occur as the jelly-like substance (vitreous) inside your eyes liquifies and contracts. Scattered clumps of collagen fibers form within the vitreous and can cast tiny shadows on your retina. The shadows you see are called floaters.”

While floaters are generally only an annoying phenomenon and not anything serious, they can sometimes preclude a more dangerous condition – a retinal tear or detachment. In my case, the optometrist I saw told me I’m highly susceptible to such things due to my severe myopia or nearsightedness.

My retina, I learned, is already stretched so thin that my eyes will likely experience one of both of these issues at some point. While a tear can be corrected somewhat with a procedure that places a gas bubble or even a band over the retina to hold it in place, detachment is a more severe condition and can sometimes lead to blindness.

In point of fact, David and I just spent time with his cousins who were caring for their daughter’s dog, who had recently gone blind from two detached retinas. “That could be me someday,” I thought as I watched him fumble around and try not to bump into things.” Scary stuff indeed. 

As for my immediate future, there’s not much anyone can do to correct floaters. The brain eventually adjusts to them, I’m told, and indeed, I am getting used to my new steadfast companions. 

For now, I can see well with my contacts and can live with my floaters – which is what matters most. Floaters don’t cause pain, so that’s also a huge blessing.

In further validation of how blessed I am, God walked me through another incident that gave me great reason to thank God for His hand of protection. 

While preparing to cut David’s lawn, I grabbed the gas can and opened the mower cap to add fuel to the tank – something I’ve done a thousand times before. This time, however, the gas jug nozzle exploded as I pushed down on the release valve. Gas from the can splashed out onto my face as it hovered over the mower. 

Thankfully, my instinctive reaction was to clamp my eyes closed as the spray hit me. While fumbling in my pocket for my handkerchief, panic flooded my mind as I feared what possible damage might have ensued. With my eyes still forged shut, I pressed the cloth against my eyelids before opening them. Praying to God, I slowly opened my eyes, wiped again, and rushed inside the house.

After telling David what happened, I ran into the bathroom, glanced at my face in the mirror, and was shocked to see mascara lines dribbling down my cheeks, validating the amount of gas that had hit me, full force. After carefully removing my contacts, I flushed my eyes with saline and aggressively scrubbed my face, which was starting to burn slightly. 

“Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Jesus,” was all I could say as I scrubbed my arms and dried my face. Miraculously, no harm had befallen me. “Thank you, Jesus,” was my constant refrain for the rest of the day. 

In reality, I know how incredibly blessed I am – in so many more ways than these. I am not alone, first and foremost. God is always with me, as He always has been – guiding, protecting, and loving me unconditionally. 

And I now have my husband David – my life’s greatest blessing. I feel loved daily – something absent throughout my adult life. I view these floaters as a minor thorn in my side – similar to what the Apostle Paul discussed in 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10.

Paul wrote, “I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times, I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

While no one knows what Paul’s thorn was, I suspect everyone has something in their life that they can relate to his condition. Perhaps this is why Paul never mentions his ailment specifically. God wanted it to remain unnamed so we could all relate to it somehow. 

Paul’s optimism inspires me despite the incredible challenges he faced in his lifetime. Henceforth, I will endeavor to do as Paul did and “boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 

I will never again say I have “bad eyes,” as God gave me His eyes to see the hurt, needy, and unloved in this world. I long to see everything God wants me to and serve Him in every way I can. I know He will give me the strength and vision to do so – regardless of what my physical eyes can do. 

Our wall breaker/love maker anniversary – part 2

Our wall breaker/love maker anniversary – part 2

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In my last blog, I talked about how David knocked down my walls of protection by sending me the Rachel Lampa song, “Perfectly Loved,” followed by his testimony of how God broke through to him with His own love for David’s soul. Through several back-and-forth emails, David and I verbalized our lifelong pursuit of one another.

As David explained, “I’ve been praying to meet someone the way we did, in a place where God was. I wanted to feel the beat that skipped in my heart when I met her. I wanted my breath to be taken away by her beauty, intelligence, compassion, love for others, and willingness to serve. I wanted someone where I would be safe to express my love of God, where it would grow and become stronger. I wanted to find that someone who understood and believed those same things, and we would have a love built on the strength of our faith in Jesus and all that He teaches us.”

David and I shared a hug as we served with Samaritan’s Purse for the first time together as an engaged couple on December 12, 2022.

Writing back, I asked, “Did your heart really skip a beat when you met me? Did I truly take your breath away with who I am? Can that be real?”

“I was called to Florida, David,” I explained, “God called me just as He called you. He asked us to give up a few days of our lives in utter abandon to His ministry, and we heeded His call. I had no idea what to expect, but it was beyond my wildest expectations. It still is. His gifts for me are still coming – from one single act of wholehearted commitment.” 

Over the next few days, David set into motion an elaborate plan to further demolish my protective walls by supplying me with tangible evidence of his love. It all began with David’s message that he had arranged for one of his VA Beach friends to ship me something from his home via special delivery. This much is true. David did have a friend mail a tile he had painted years ago. The slate was emblazoned with a gold and red heart along with the words, “Healing heart – Love Heals.” 

What David didn’t reveal was that the shipment was coming to him in FL so he could hand-deliver it to me. Over the next few days, David unabashedly convinced me that I needed to be home to sign for the package – presumably scheduled to arrive on December 1st and later delayed until December 2nd. 

David and I stood beside storm-tossed and destroyed shrimp boats at Ft. Myers Beach, FL, following Hurricane Ian, December 2022.

Behind the scenes, David wasn’t yet at a place in FL where he could easily leave his restoration work. After reaching a breakaway point, he grabbed his kitty, Bo, and set out on an 8-hour journey to my home – all the while sending me text updates regarding the estimated arrival time of my “package.” I never expected anything but a mysterious gift sent with love.

On Friday, December 2nd, 2022, I woke to the following beautiful email from David:

“Good morning, Dear Sara, 

You are the Angel that holds My Heart!!!! 

What a beautiful and memorable day this is going to be! God has blessed us with such a wonderful beginning, and today will add to our precious Love story! What will come to your door today truly has been a lifetime in the making. God has shaped and molded this gift to be the perfect fit into your life, and I’m so excited to be able to share it with you now and forever! I know you want me to be there, and I will be – in your heart as you are in mine. 

I know that my life with you has happened because we both gave our lives up to God to be in his service and allow the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts. 

What I’m sending you, My Love, is My Heart. It’s my dedication, devotion, and determination to show you how much I love you and want to be with you! I’m so happy to know what I’m giving you will be in a safe place that you can share with others when they come into your home. 

David and I in Perry, FL, after assisting Samaritan’s Purse after Hurricane Idalia hit the region, September 2023.

I know we will have a lot to say to each other this evening, and I can’t wait to hear the sound of your voice! 

With God’s Love and mine💞 – David”

To David’s mailing, I sent the following response: 

“Dear David, 

The giving of one’s heart is a sacred offering and one that I would never give or take lightly. The fact that you’ve given me yours is profoundly precious to me. Please know that I promise to hold your heart protectively as I understand its tremendous value. 

I can’t even imagine what you could possibly be sending me today, but I feel privileged to receive whatever you want to give. The gift of oneself demonstrates no greater love, and I am eternally grateful to God for sending me a man who understands that. 

Savannah, GA, July 2023

I’ve never known a love such as yours before, David. It’s incredulous to me that such a thing can exist – that what I’ve hoped and prayed for my entire life could actually be living on this earth. I’d long ago given up the idea that someone like you could ever find and love someone like me. Only the hand of God could have brought us together for such a time as this. 

Thank you for loving me, David. Thank you for the gift of your heart and for your steadfast determination to make me believe in its veracity. 

With our Savior’s love and mine – Sara”

Throughout the day, David gave me periodic updates on the arrival of my package. 

Per David, “I’ve got an update for delivery moved to between 7:00 and 9:00. I was able to get the signature requirement removed, so no worries.”

Jekyll Island, GA, August 2023.

As time progressed, I became more and more excited about whatever David was sending me. As the 9:00 pm hour rolled in, I told David I still hadn’t seen anything. 

“It says it’s still out for delivery,” David told me. “That driver sure is working late!”

“Agreed,” I replied. “I’ve never had such a late delivery before! I feel sorry for the driver! I wonder if they’ll just take it back and bring it tomorrow now.”

“Patience love,” came David’s response. “Delivered by 9:20!”

By 9:15, with still no sign of the “package,” I decided I should have a tip ready for the driver. Pulling a five-dollar bill from my wallet, I put the money in my pocket and moved to the door to look out. 

Peering through the semi-sheer drapes covering the sidelights at my front door, I noted the headlights that entered my driveway at precisely 9:20 pm. When a car door shut, I looked again and could just make out a figure walking to my door that didn’t appear to be wearing a uniform. 

It was at that moment that I felt a twinge of concern. There I was, a single woman, preparing to open the door late at night to a stranger who may or may not have been in uniform. “Maybe this isn’t the best idea,” I thought. 

But then the doorbell rang.

David will tell you that he remembers watching his finger move in slow motion to the doorbell, knowing full well that he was preparing to change our lives forever with that single action.

Virginia Beach, VA, June 2023.

As for me, I will never forget the abject shock I felt when I opened the door to find David standing on my welcome mat with a massive smile on his face. 

Barely comprehending what I was seeing, I cried out, “Wait. What?!? David! How on earth can you be here?” In my utter dismay, I literally shut the door on him.

Realizing what I had done, I opened the door again, grabbed ahold of David, and dragged him inside – repeating over and over, “I can’t believe it! How can you be here?” 

As David laughed, I paced back and forth – periodically looking at David while repeating, “I just need a minute. You don’t understand. I can’t believe it!” 

At some point during my pacing, David finally grabbed me and pulled me into his embrace.

“I had to come,” he said. “I love you. I needed to tell you that, in-person, before you came to Florida.”

While I wasn’t prepared to tell David I loved him yet, I held onto him, clinging to the first person on earth who ever made me feel valued. His single act of driving to see me had completely validated his proclamations of love. 

David and I celebrated our hard work of re-shingling his VA Beach, VA house by sharing a selfie on the roof, April 2023.

“You don’t understand,” I repeated, genuinely overwhelmed at the incredulity of his arrival. “No one has ever done anything like this for me before. I just can’t believe you’re here! How long did it take you to get here?” 

“Eight hours,” David confirmed. “It was worth every mile to see your face.” 

Overwhelmed by the love David had demonstrated to me, I could barely stop the tears streaming down my face. “You don’t understand. You just don’t understand,” I kept saying.

Over the next few hours, I did my best to explain to David how his act of unselfish love had touched my soul deeper than anything he could have ever said to me. 

For as long as I can remember, I have always felt unworthy. I’d been led to believe that my value was always tied to the tangible: how I looked, what I could do, and who I was compared to the rest of the world. I always fell short. I could never be pretty enough, smart enough, or anything else the world believed held value. This concept had been my truth throughout my broken marriages. I was never enough for anyone to love or consider worthy of their kindness, let alone their affection. 

VA Beach, August 2023

Worse yet, I had been repeatedly told that the vision I held in my heart of what love really is was unrealistic. “No one can love like you think they can,” was a frequent refrain. “That’s only in movies and fairy tales.” 

And so that statement became my truth. The love depicted in movies was just make-believe. Books with happy endings were unrealistic. No one, not anyone on earth, could love me unselfishly, wholeheartedly – the way I wanted to be loved – without asking anything in return. No one, that is, until David.

In David, I have found the mirror image of my love for him, the kind of love God has for us all. Every day, David and I hug, laugh, kiss, and thank our Heavenly Father for the beautiful, merciful, undeserving, steadfast, unequivocal, unquenchable love we have for one another. We hold onto each other at every opportunity, thanking God for the gift of finding such love on earth. At every meal, our first mention in our prayers – while we’re holding on to one another, I might add – is to thank our Creator for the gift of love He’s established between us. 

“Thank you, God, for your love,” I pray before every meal. “Thank you for tying David and I together with such an unbreakable bond, bound together with your presence that always surrounds us, for keeping us focused on you. We are so grateful. We can never thank you enough.”

God is the ultimate wall breaker and love maker. He is the one who was always with me, guiding David and me to the moment when we would meet, serve Him together in FL, and ultimately fall in love by seeing each other’s hearts for our Savior. 

Our wedding day, March 12, 2023

My whole life, I always knew my Creator loved me. That much has always been true. But it was only by surrendering my will to His and consistently praying for someone to love me like He did that I found my precious David. As it turns out, David was also seeking love like I was – someone to love like God does, with skin on it. 

One year ago, yesterday, David proposed to me, and I immediately replied, “A million, trillion, ka-billion times, yes!” Today, as we are celebrating our 9-month wedding anniversary, I repeated the exact phrase over and over to him. 

By the way, David still has the five-dollar tip I gave him as the rightful, hard-working delivery driver who came to my door on December 2nd, 2022. 

That money pales in comparison to the gift of love we received from our Savior – both when we gave our hearts and lives to Him and when He gave us the long-held hope of genuine love here on earth. I can never thank God enough. 

After all, only God could create such a love story from two seeking souls whose only desire was to serve their Creator.

Thanks to our Heavenly Father, we’re just getting started.

Our wall breaker/love maker anniversary – Part 1

Our wall breaker/love maker anniversary – Part 1

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It’s normal for married couples to celebrate anniversaries such as the day they met and the day they wed. But two anniversaries in a love story as profound as David’s and mine don’t seem to be enough.

Instead, we celebrate our love with anniversaries all year long. In addition to the day we met (October 12th) and our wedding anniversary (March 12th), the 12th of each month is another important acknowledgement of God’s grace in bringing our two hearts together. December 11th is also important to us as it’s the day David proposed to me. So, too, December 12th is remembered as the two-month anniversary of the day we met, as well as the day we served with Samaritan’s Purse together as an engaged couple. December 2nd is another important date in our lives that will forever mark the moment my walls of protection were utterly obliterated by love.  

The tale begins on November 28th – what I like to call our “Next Chapter Day,” which I’m now officially naming as another anniversary. 

My sweet kitty, Rocky.

On November 27th, I gave my sweet kitty, Rocky, back to God – a story I wrote about in my blog entitled, “Not the Father’s will that any of these should perish.” I had purposely chosen not to tell David about this event as I knew he was working hard rebuilding Herm and Nancy’s Ft. Myers home, which had been devastated by Hurricane Ian. I didn’t want to distract him from that mission with my pain.  

As it turned out, David was hurt by my choice not to share this life event with him. After a few brief back-to-back text messages establishing the same, David sent me a link to the Rachel Lampa song, “Perfectly Loved,” which affected me profoundly. 

Beyond our miles-long text messages in those first few months of our relationship, David and I wrote beautiful love letters via email. Wanting to capture the profound way David’s song-send had deeply moved me emotionally, on November 28th, I emailed him the following impassioned response: 

“Dear David, 

I had planned to send you a completely different message this evening about being a wounded animal – something that needs time and total commitment to earn trust. I know all about such things by being both the one earning the trust and the one who trusts. It’s always worth the effort in the end. 

But then you sent me that video. The lyrics of this song speak so deeply to my soul that I can’t stop listening to it. 

David, God is the only one who has ever perfectly loved me. He’s the only one who’s never abandoned, abused, and rejected me. All I’ve ever wanted was to be perfectly loved. That’s all. I used to puzzle over why something that should be so simple is beyond comprehension. I love like that. Why can’t anyone else do the same? 

They haven’t. Until perhaps now. 

Can you perfectly love me? Can you truly want to know these, my innermost thoughts? Can you really want to know me and yet still love me – despite my flaws, scars, and fears of betrayal? 

I have only one fear in life – believing that there may be perfect love only to discover that I was mistaken, yet again. I want to hold onto my belief that somewhere, love can be genuine and whole, that deep love, as the Bible tells me, covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8) 

I used to think that meant love excuses bad behavior, that I could WILL someone to love me, or that they’d change and do so. Nothing could be further from the truth. People don’t change. Either they love you, or they don’t. 

I don’t want superficial love, David. I want perfect love – the kind that sticks with you when times get tough, that isn’t afraid to scale walls, walk 10,000 miles, or stand beside you when things get messy or you’re less than perfect. 

‘Perfect love casts out fear.’ (1 John 4:18) I don’t want to fear that I’m bothering you. I don’t want to fear that I’ll tell you I love you only to have you change your mind and walk away. I don’t want to fear that what I hope for, that someone can love me as deeply and passionately as I know how to love, isn’t real – that only God can love like that. If that were true, how could God have given that capacity to love in me? 

Am I the only person on Earth that gets it? Am I the only one who can love that deeply? Can you love like that, too, David? Can you love me like that? Can I finally give up always having to be strong and alone for being perfectly loved by someone who WANTS to be with me? Can you understand that I want nothing more in life than to love someone with my whole heart who I know loves me that way in return? 

Show me that you are that person, David. I don’t need space. I’ve had a lifetime of being shunned. You can’t love me enough. I will never get tired of being loved. Show me that you love me like God loves me, and you will hold my heart forever. 

I wish I could ask and tell you these things in person. I need to see your reaction – and you, mine. Until then, I will hold out hope that I may be perfectly loved someday. 

Thank you for giving me hope in something I stopped believing in long ago. Thank you for giving me hope. Thank you for not giving up on me. If you do, I will never bother you again. 

But if you don’t, if you will be the King David I know you to be – the man after God’s own heart – you may just find perfect love for yourself in return. 

In His love, Sara”

In response, David sent me the following message:

“Dearest Sara, 😇💞💋

What you have written to me is heaven-sent! I will cherish this forever! This is what I’ve been searching for my entire life as well.

When God completely entered my soul, and I felt unconditional love for the first time, I understood what had been missing all along. It wasn’t there in my family. When I felt that love from God, and I knew he was talking to me and not over me, or around me, or through me, but directly to me, with compassion and understanding, encouragement, fearlessness, determination, honesty, humbleness, and STEADFAST DEVOTION, He was telling me these were the foundations of loving with an open heart.

 I’ve been praying to meet someone the way we did, in a place where God was. I wanted to feel the beat that skipped in my heart when I met her. I wanted my breath to be taken away by her beauty, intelligence, compassion, love for others, and willingness to serve. I wanted someone where I would be safe to express my love of God, where it would grow and become stronger. I wanted to find that someone who understood and believed those same things, and we would have a Love built on the strength of our faith in Jesus and all that He teaches us.

As I got to know you during our deployment, I saw and felt ALL of these things in you. And I began to pray, Lord, is this the one? Is this the person who will have my back at all times, fight for me as much as I fight for her, who will support me in following the dream you have given me and encourage my creativity, will want to have a love between us as deep and as wide as is the universe you have created for us, someone who loves you with all her heart and wants to celebrate that love with me, someone that would wrap me in her arms of love and the pains and scars of my past would melt away forever – that she, Lord, would be the one I want to be with in eternity?

I know, with all my heart, Sara, YOU are her!! You are the Angel God has sent me, and I can barely see the screen right now though the tears of Joy streaming down my face. I thank God for the gift of you!

Scroll back through all of our messages to the beginning. My finger got tired of swiping; it took so long! We have a wonderful and beautiful connection! It’s only going to get stronger. With God at our center, we will be unbreakable. Set aside your fears, Dear One. I Will be your King David, and I will do everything in my power to honor that which has been given to me from God Our Father.

I U V. (Author’s note: This was David’s first not-so-cryptic way of telling me that he loved me without typing the words.) I guess that has been retired by now!

I love you so very much!!

With God’s Love

Your David💞”

Which prompted the following return message from me:

“Dearest David,

 Last night, I told you to add being a stone mason to your resume. This morning, I believe you may also add ‘bulldozer driver’ to your repertoire. How did you manage to obliterate my protective walls with one mailing? The truth is, you’ve been chipping away at them for some time now, even while I clung to the rubble you knocked down for fear of losing its protection. I don’t want to do that anymore.

What you’ve written to me through your tears is the perfect embodiment of all I’ve ever asked for. Your words can be nothing less than heaven-sent. They’re what my soul has been seeking, praying for, and envisioning for as long as I can remember. If your love is as you’ve described below, there is NO more extraordinary gift I could ever receive other than that from my Savior.

Unintentionally, I gave you an assignment that seemed impossible to complete. I asked you if you could love me as Christ does. I wanted to know if you even understood the kind of love I’m talking about.

I now know that you do. You were able to detail extraordinarily how Christ filled your soul with His perfect love. My heart soured as I read your words.

You said Christ was ‘talking to [you] and not over [you], or around [you] or through [you], but directly to [you], with compassion and understanding, encouragement, fearlessness, determination, honesty, humbleness, and STEADFAST DEVOTION. He was telling [you] these were the foundations of Loving With an Open Heart.’

That IS how Christ loves, David. You’ve entirely captured what God-given love is. That IS how He loves us.

And that is how I love, as well. Perfect love is modeled after our Savior’s. He demonstrated His love for us by dying on the cross for our sins, by caring for us since before we were born, since before time began.

‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ (Jeremiah 29:11)

That love story is captured in God’s holy Word. Ours is encapsulated here – but more importantly, it’s in our hearts.

Did your heart really skip a beat when you met me? Did I truly take your breath away with who I am? Can that be real?

I was called to Florida, David. God called me just as He called you. He asked us to give up a few days of our lives in utter abandon to His ministry, and we heeded His call. I had no idea what to expect, but it was beyond my wildest expectations. It still is. His gifts for me are still coming – from one single act of wholehearted commitment.

You said you prayed for someone like me. You wanted to find someone who also wanted to serve, even as you hoped you’d find that person while you were serving.

I did the same. That’s ALWAYS been my prayer.

But before this trip that changed our lives, I didn’t have that idea in my head. My only thought was, ‘Use me, Lord.’

Even so, just as I shut my door to begin my drive to FL, that thought entered my head. ‘Maybe you’ll meet him there.’ It took me back as that notion was not in my brain at ALL. I was so excited just to go, even as I marveled at how it all came together. I could barely contain my excitement. Every step, every mile, brought me closer to the mission God had ordained me for, even before I was born.

It also brought us to each other. Without knowing it, the perfect love story was revealed and put into motion the day I left GA. How the angels must have rejoiced that day!! What had been waiting in the shadows was being orchestrated on the stage of our lives. One act, one line, one piece at a time, was coming together. That story is ours. It’s our God-given love story, and it’s better than any I could have ever imagined.

I told you that if you showed me that you loved me as God loves me, you would hold me in your heart forever. I’m not going to say anything else until I see you, but you’re in my heart, King David. I hold your heart as my greatest treasure in return.

In His love, Sara”

David and me in VA Beach, summer 2023

What happened next was that David put into motion a plan to demonstrate his love to me so elaborate that it completely obliterated my walls. It’s so beautiful, in fact, that I will share its story in a separate post. 

For now, I end with a reminder that our God will break down every wall that holds us back from complete happiness and joy. All we have to do to find that jubilation on Earth is by surrendering our will to His. While I hadn’t yet found earthly love until God brought me David, the love of my Savior, Jesus Christ, was always with me. It carried, elevated, and sustained me throughout my life’s often perilous journey. 

In Christ, there is always hope – the kind of hope that only our Creator can bring. As David’s and my earthly pastor in VA Beach, Dr. Don Solomon of Kings Grant Baptist Church, told us today, “Hope in worldly terms is simply wishful thinking. Hope in Biblical terms isn’t wishful. It’s faith, assurance, and security in Christ. It can withstand trials, fire, and despair, God’s hope gives us security through Christ.” 

There is always hope, beloved. I’ve always felt secure in Christ. I soon discovered we can also have hope and security here on Earth. God walks before us, beside us, and with us. There is no better assurance than that we find in Christ. He is the ultimate wall breaker and love maker – every single day for all eternity.

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