Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story – those He redeemed from the hand of the foe… (Psalm 107:2)

It took me over two years to get up the nerve to initiate this blog. I wanted to; I needed to, but I was afraid to begin. I am a survivor. My story needs to be told. A friend told me to create an anonymous site – but that didn’t seem right. If I was going to tell the tale, I needed to own it. Please allow me to explain.

I’m a survivor of not one but two abusive marriages. The first was physically abusive. The second was emotionally and psychologically destructive. The latter may have been worse than the former as the psychological abuse controlled my perception of reality – both in how I perceive myself and the world around me.

I’ve been desperate for love my whole life. I was always the outcast. Picture Laura Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie trying to fit into downtown Detroit. (1) That was me.

I moved from Papillion, Nebraska to Baltimore County, Maryland, in the 6th grade. My braided pigtails and duct-tape wrapped saxophone case garnered me neither street-cred nor acceptance. Time didn’t do much to help me fit in, either. I was a total misfit. No prom date. No seat on the bus. Total rejection across the board.

I was essentially pushed into a physical relationship with the first person that took a liking to me. He wanted to sleep with me; that’s all. I thought it was love; it was no such thing. I became pregnant at 19 and essentially married the man who treated me so poorly.

It only got worse: physically, sexually, emotionally. I kept hoping he’d love me. He didn’t. I tried to be everything he wanted. I never could be. When I asked for more, he got mad and strangled me. I stopped asking for anything.

With the help of friends, I eventually left – after spending 14 years in a debilitating marriage. I took out a restraining order and prayed that all would be well.

Still desperate for love, I married the next man who told me he loved me. He turned out to be a Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: incredibly kind, at first – until he gained control of every aspect of my existence – then cruel and demoralizing. If you’ve seen “Sleeping with the Enemy,” that was my life. (2)

As long as I was “perfect” – kept a spotless house, stayed quiet, avoided friendships, never saw my family – including my children – things were “good.” I lived in a huge house, went out to eat regularly, and was “rewarded” with expensive jewelry.

If I talked about work, rejected any of the ways he hurt me in the bedroom, wanted to see my family or kids, or dressed in a way he didn’t like, Mr. Hyde would come out. Dishes would fly, dinner was thrown out, my belongings were destroyed, accusations were made, and I was told, in no uncertain terms, how selfish and arrogant I was.

When the verbal barrages ended, I was physically pushed out of the house with the door locked behind me. I spent the night with my dogs, in the garage, in the garden, on my deck, in my car – wherever I could.

The next morning, when he’d leave, I’d rush in and change my clothes to prepare for work. I’d plaster on a smile and pretend that my life was perfect. It wasn’t. Everyone – including the pastor where I worked and my family – believed that I was happy. I was – when I was away from him. I became an expert at compartmentalization.

At home, I walked on egg-shells, waiting to be told what I’d done wrong next – how much of a disappointment I was.

Still, I had God. I clung to God. God was always my salvation.

God lifted me up and told me that He loved imperfect me. God told me I didn’t have to be faultless and that it was okay to be happy. God told me I had value and that I should share my value with others.

It took a dear friend telling me that I was putting my husband above God and that it was okay to leave before I was finally able to do so.

The church doesn’t tell women that. The church says, honor your husband and stay married forever. The church never talks about abuse or control. The church never says that women shouldn’t be treated like doormats or punching bags. On such matters, the church’s silence is deafening.

And so I stayed. I stayed because I thought that’s what Christian wives do. They take it.

Since leaving for the second time, I’ve grown stronger in my faith and more dedicated to sharing God’s love with others.

Only recently, did I decide to let down my guard and start a blog. I wanted to reveal part of my past and encourage others to believe that God loves them unconditionally, no matter what anyone on earth says.

My final revelation? After I left for the second time, I changed my entire name. I needed a complete and total fresh start. I wanted no memory of those who had ever hurt me. I am brand new in Christ, and I wanted my name to reflect that.

Sara Victoria Christiansen is my chosen name, not my birth name. It means victorious, Christian daughter of the King. God loves me and gave me the ultimate victory. My name signifies who I am today.

Sara literally means Hebrew princess. Sarah was also the only woman in the Bible whose name was changed by God.

Queen Victoria was the longest-reigning monarch in Great Britain. She survived seven attempts on her life. I’m blessed to have only had a few.

I will never again let anyone or anything keep me from living as God’s beloved. The devil would delight to see my past destroy me. I won’t let him.

Instead, I now live a joyful life, as Christ intended me to. I am filled with the love of Christ and have made it my mission to share His love with others. When people ask me how I can always be so happy, I am quick to tell them, “It’s Christ in me, that you see.” My former self is gone. I now live to emanate God’s love.

My message to you, dear reader, is this. Never forget how much God loves you. Even if everyone on earth makes you feel inadequate, you will never be that. God made unique you for a special purpose. Don’t ever let anyone define who you are. You are flawless in Christ.

God sent His beloved Son to die on the cross for your sins. If you believe in Him, you can be saved – from despair, from heartache, from spiritual death. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved. His love can break through any barrier, any sorrow, anything that controls you.

No matter how deep your scars are, His blood will restore you and make you flawless.

References:

(1) Wilder, Laura Ingalls. Little House on the Prairie. Harper and Brothers. September 19, 1935.

(2) Sleeping with the Enemy. Directed by Joseph Ruben. 20th Century Fox. February 8, 1991.

The joy of the Lord is my strength. (Nehemiah 8:10)

Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you felt joyful? Not happy. Not content. I’m talking pure, unadulterated joy – the kind that fills your heart, makes you want to sing, then spills out into a feeling you can hardly contain. Have you felt joyful lately? Have you ever felt that way? 

My life verse has always been Nehemiah 8:10: “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” Joy is my super-power. I strive to not only be joyful but to spread joy wherever I can. One can’t exist without the other. When I feel God’s joy, I am strong; and I am strong because I feel God’s joy in my life. 

But where does joy originate? Sure, lots of things can make us happy – love, friendship, the beauty of the world around us, the comfort of someone who cares about us. Even chocolate chip cookies can make one happy. Trust me. I speak from experience on that one! 

Joy is different. Joy can only come from above. It’s a feeling I get when I feel close to God – when I’m worshipping Him. I feel His presence in music and in the beauty of the world around me. 

I felt that joy yesterday, as I traveled to spend the day with one of my best friends. The praise music I was listening to, the beauty of the sky as I drove, the sun shining down on me, and the magnificence of the low-country terrain around me, all culminated in a feeling of joy that was hard to contain. I sang along with the music and raised my hands in praise as I drove along the interstate, then onto the smaller highways that took me across the beautiful Broad River, near Beaufort, SC. 

Joy is more than a feeling – it’s a choice we make every day. We can let the burdens of life pull us down and divert our minds away from God’s grace, or we can find joy in the every day. 

Sure, my morning commute may take me longer than I’d like to, some days – but I get to listen to additional praise music when that happens, and extend my enjoyment of the sunrise. 

Yes, my job can be stressful – but I have a job when others don’t, and I work with amazing people. 

And, of course, my yard might require a lot of hot, sweaty work to maintain – but I have a beautiful piece of property that I can sit in and enjoy once the labor is complete. 

It’s all about perspective. Joy is a choice we make – a conscious perspective to focus on what is good, rather than what pulls us down. Life will continuously throw negativity your way.

Don’t let it. The choice is yours. Choose the right perspective. 

For me, I choose JOY!!

Acknowledge and take to heart this day that the Lord is God in heaven above and on earth below. There is no other. (Deuteronomy 4:39)

Is it just me, or do the skies seem to weep on the days when we are most sad? 

Here in Savannah, it’s been an inordinately dry autumn. Until this past week, we’d not experienced much rain. 

That all ended on Tuesday, as Tropical Storm Nestor moved into our area. Ironically, Tuesday was the same day that my workplace diminished by hundreds in a massive corporate layoff. 

I couldn’t help but be struck by the fact that the skies turned dark and the rain started to fall, just as many of my coworkers were learning the news that they would no longer be employed. It was as if the heavens, themselves, were crying with the rest of us. 

Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever attended a dry funeral and some of my worst days happened when it was raining. The rain, in these cases, always served as a reminder to me that God is with me during my times of sorrow. 

As inevitably as the rain falls, however, the sun always returns, thereafter – oftentimes, appearing to be more brilliant and beautiful than it was before the storms. I wonder, would we appreciate sunny skies if we never saw the clouds? I don’t think so. 

While we’re quick to blame God for not protecting us from our trials, only He knows the lessons He is teaching us as we walk in the rain. Even if our difficulties only serve to remind us of our frailty and need for a sovereign God, our heartaches have a purpose. 

The next time it rains on your parade, or you step in a mud puddle after hearing bad news, don’t let it add to your sorrow. See it as a reminder that God is with you, walking you through the storm. 

Never forget that He will bring the sun back tomorrow. 

Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act. (Psalm 37:7)

Bad things happen to good people – every day. We get sick. We have accidents. We lose our jobs. 

Over this past week, I witnessed terrible things happening to a large number of good people – 446, to be precise; 362 of those in my local area. Many of those affected, I knew, personally.

I never heard the term RIF until just recently. A RIF is a Reduction In Force, implemented by corporations that need to downsize their employment-population. I’m intimately familiar with the acronym, now. 

Thanks to my employer’s recent RIF, a lot of my friends and co-workers are currently unemployed. Kind, talented individuals now face an uncertain future in a world that turned upside down in the blink of an eye. 

While I was blessedly spared from this week’s RIF, that’s not to say I will be the next time around. As the old saying goes, nothing is certain in life but death and taxes. 

Or is it? 

My God is omniscient. He is omnipresent and omnipotent. My God is sovereign over everything that touches my life and the lives of all those affected by this week’s event. 

Bad things happen to us, and while we don’t always understand why they do, we have to trust that God has a purpose for everything. That much is certain. 

While I can’t always control what happens to me, in life, I can control how I will respond to the unexpected. I will pray. That much is certain, too. 

I am praying for all my friends. I am covering them with prayer and asking God to bring them peace in this time of uncertainty. I am keeping in touch with everyone – sending them my love, prayers, encouragements, and Bible verses every day. I will continue to remind them that they are not alone and not to let this week’s actions define them. 

We, as Christians, are called to be God’s hands and feet during times of uncertainty. We are called to demonstrate His love by loving one another. 

Be there for someone who’s going through a time of difficulty. Remind your friends that tomorrow is a new day and that you’re going to love them today and tomorrow – through thick and thin. Show kindness. Be encouraging. Lift up one another. 

Never underestimate the power of presence. Your demonstration of love will serve as a potent reminder that God is always with us – through the good times and the bad. In HIs time, He will raise the downtrodden, again. 

Cling to the certainty of that statement. Cling to the certainty of God. 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

While it may seem strange for me to post do-it-yourself projects on a blog created to provide inspiration and encouragement, I see God all around me – even in the excitement of fixer-upper projects. There is a lesson to be learned, and skill to be honed, in even the tiniest of experiences.

That being said, on occasion, I intend to share some of these experiences – both good and bad – with you.

As a single person, with a limited budget, I fix most everything myself. The number of projects I undertake is only limited by the amount of time I have.

For example, over the past year, I’ve slowly landscaped my back yard with new flower and vegetable gardens, re-painted my house interior, pressure-washed the exterior, painted furniture, restored a former “chalk wall,” installed a new mailbox and post, refinished and re-stained antique end-tables, and installed an under-the-counter microwave – all with God’s help!

Today, though, I tackled a relatively easy project – restoring corroded lamp bases to their previous splendor.

The back-story is this: I’ve made my house my own by shopping at estate sales to purchase one-of-a-kind items at a fraction of the cost I would find at standard retail outlets.

Two such finds are my unique glass and brass seashell-filled table lamps.

I was fortunate to find these gorgeous creations. True, the shades were dry-rotted and the metal bases, corroded; but, I could see the beauty beyond their imperfections to the fun flair they would provide to my ocean-based, decorating theme. As a result, I snatched them up as soon as I found them.

Since I’d only spent $16 for the pair of lamps, the last thing I wanted to do was spend a fortune on replacement shades. On the way home from the sale, I took a chance and stopped at my local Goodwill store. Miraculously, I found two perfect, beige shades, which I purchased for $4/each. Such a gift!

The bases weren’t real brass; so, I chose to spray-paint them with Rustoleum gold paint to add a brighter glow to the lamps and make them look brand-new.

Now the specifics:

Step 1: I prepared my outdoor painting station by laying out a piece of cardboard I frequently utilize when working on small projects.

Step 2: Using a small piece of fine-grit sandpaper, I sanded away all the rust and corrosion from the base of the lamps. Once sanded, I removed the dust with a dry paper towel.

Step 3: I covered the lamp bodies with brown paper to protect them from overspray. Using blue painter’s tape, I securely fastened the paper to the lower portion of each lamp’s body.

Step 4: I sprayed the lamp bases with two light coats of paint, allowing 15-minutes to dry between coats.

Step 5: Once the paint was dry, I applied a single coat of clear lacquer to further protect the lamps from future rust damage.

Step 6: Satisfied with the results, I removed the brown paper and admired my beautifully restored lamps!

Lesson learned? If I can combine a small amount of work with a big desire to look past a less-than-perfect exterior, imagine what the Creator of everything can do to us!

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Acknowledge and take to heart this day that the Lord is God in heaven above and on earth below. There is no other. (Deuteronomy 4:39)

There are those that believe in God when times are good, but doubt His existence, when the opposite prevails. They feel alone, forsaken, and rejected by God when life is hard. They think He has abandoned them when pain persists. 

Why is it that we’ve adopted the image of God as a kind-hearted grandfather, who only wants to bestow gifts and goodness upon us? Where do such beliefs come from? They’re nowhere in the Bible. 

Quite the opposite. Christ told His disciples to “take up their cross and follow [Him]” (Matthew 16:24). 

I couldn’t imagine such thoughts until a friend of mine, began expressing such sentiments. “Pray for me,” he’d say. “God listens to you. He doesn’t listen to me.”  

How sad it must be to think that God doesn’t hear you, to feel all alone, tossed by circumstances, without an anchor to stay firm, or a sail to move forward in life.

The reality is that God is always with us, and He always hears our prayers. Deuteronomy 31:6 reminds us that “The Lord your God goes with you: He will never leave you or forsake you.”

What comfort there is in that promise! Just think of it – the Creator of all that ever is, was, and ever will be, has promised that He will always be with you. Whether you believe in Him or not, God is omnipresent.

When times are difficult, we need to seek God’s presence. We don’t need to face our difficulties alone. While I strive to listen, comfort, and reassure my friends when they need me – how much more amazing is it to know that “there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24)?

We don’t need to ask where God is when times are tough. He is with us, and His strength will see us through our difficulties. In my darkest hours, when I’ve felt most rejected by the world, I’ve grown closer to my Savior. I know He’s there, and that thought gives me comfort.

God is with me, and He’s right there with you, too.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

Fear is a powerful emotion. It robs us of our security while keeping us tied down, incapable of moving forward.

Lots of things instill fear: death, rejection, the unknown – to name a few. As humans, we long to control our circumstances. Anything that moves us to a state where we can no longer control our happiness, security, or future can be frightening.

But what happens when we’re afraid? Fear causes us to take our eyes off of Christ – the “author and finisher of our faith” (Hebrews 12:2). Faith is the polar opposite of fear. One cannot exist in the presence of the other. 

In the past month, I’ve faced countless frightening situations.

To begin, my mother and I recently took our sixth annual European adventure together. Note that I called this an “adventure” rather than a vacation. Our trips are often fraught with stress and anxiety, as we are two women traveling alone in a foreign country. While I plan, prodigiously, the unexpected always happens. I now call these our Fully Relying On God (F.R.O.G.) trips as a result. Get the picture?

This year’s trip took us to Scotland, where I immediately had to learn how to drive on the left-hand side of the road, while seated on the right side of the rental car, on narrow lanes, with no shoulders.

While traveling, we became lost while locating six out of ten apartments where we were staying – in an unfamiliar land, with little guidance, while driving in different road conditions than I was used to – oftentimes, in the rain.

Shortly after arrival, I learned that my cat was gravely ill and would have died, had it not been for the quick thinking of my pet-sitter.

I misplaced my credit card, twice, while traveling, finally losing it, altogether – not knowing how I’d move forward without it.

While in Europe, I kept apprised of Hurricane Dorian’s decimation of the Bahamas, with dire meteorologist predictions of its path moving steadily closer to my home. Can you feel the tension mounting?

But wait! There’s more.

When I returned to the U.S., I was informed of the death of my best friend from his surviving widow. I had last heard from him via text, just a few days before my flight home.

Two days later, I learned that my employer would soon be proceeding with permanent layoffs.

A week after the work announcement, a dear friend called to tell me of the death of her precious companion cat.

Two days later, another close friend disclosed her cancer prognosis over an after-work dinner, together.

I had every reason to be fearful of and about all of the above things – the gut-wrenching loss of a loved one, daily work insecurity and stress, the anxiety of an unknown future with a frightening prognosis.

Fear is always present; yet, I choose not to be afraid.

Don’t get me wrong. I was terrified when I first experienced all of the above things.

But then I surrendered my fear to God. I made a conscious choice to give these fear-laden burdens to the only One who controls them, anyway. As scripture reminded me, God did not give me the spirit of fear. 

If and when God chooses to take any of the things I hold dear, I know He will give me the tools to work through them – as He has in the past, and as He is now. I trust God, completely, and give Him praise for everything He’s already done for me.

Living by faith means one must let go of fear. I choose to surrender my yesterday, today, and tomorrow to God. This is the secret to living fearlessly: in the arms of our Creator, there is no fear.

Fear not, beloved. God is with you.

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Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

The Oxford Dictionary defines inception as the establishment or starting point of an institution or activity (Lexico.com, 2019).

Today marks the inception of an activity I have been called to do. I am an encourager. It is my fruit of the Spirit, my life’s blood, my reason for being. I was created to encourage.

Since third grade, I knew I wanted to be a writer. There are many books in my head waiting to come out, but taking that first leap seemed impossible. How would I find the time? What would I write about? Where would I post my musings? The longing was always there – as were the excuses.

That changes today.

But why now?

One month ago, my best friend died while I was out of the country. My friend Paul believed in me like no one else ever had.

“You know you can do it,” he would say. “Whenever you’re ready, I know it will be great. There’s nothing you can’t do, once you set your mind to it. I can’t wait to read whatever you write.”

Today, I move forward for Paul – and for Diane, another friend recently diagnosed with Stage 2 melanoma.

I am writing for Patty, who lives alone and recently had to say goodbye to her companion pet.

I write for my mother, family, Alex, Ruth, Mary, Anita, Bobby and all those with broken hearts, dreams and ideals that need to be reminded that they are not alone in their pain and everyday trials.

Thank you for loving and encouraging me. Now, it’s my turn to encourage you and others in this new forum. It’s time to use the gift God has given me as we walk down this path, together.

Today, the inception begins.