It’s always been you

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (Isaiah 43:2)

I woke up a few days ago with Phil Wickham’s “It’s always been you” blasting in my head. It’s been a while since God placed a song in my mind during my waking hours. But there it was, reverberating on loop in full, high-definition replay.

After sharing with David how the composition affected my thoughts, he asked me to pull up the song on my phone so he could hear the lyrics again. We added this beautiful ballad to our wedding reception playlist and often listen to it – and the rest of our reception music – as we eat dinner most nights.

As often as I’ve heard it, lying in bed next to my soulmate, wrapped up in his arms, I realized anew how great our love is. Caught up in the magnitude of the emotion, I couldn’t stop the tears streaming down my face.

As the song finished, David said aloud, “Why so long?”

I instantly knew what he meant as we both bemoan the time it took for God to unite us. We experienced so much heartache while we waited. Many mistakes were made, and long, lonely nights were spent apart as we sought one another – never finding each other until that fated day last October.

Seeing my tears, David whispered into my hair, “No more tears. We have each other now, and that’s all that matters.”

Still caught in the emotion, I responded, “It’s always been you, David. My truest love has always been you. My best friend has always been you. The love of my life has always been you.”

Even as I uttered the words, an even stronger emotion hit me.

Even beyond David’s, my greatest love has always been God’s. My Heavenly Father was with me through every fire. When the waters rose over my head, and I wasn’t sure if I could go on, Jesus was always ready to pull me out of the waves and hold my head above water.

And when I needed someone to break down all the fortresses I built around my heart to protect it, God used David to do so.  

David and I were created for one another. I know that’s true with every fiber of my being. Our Heavenly Father fashioned each of us in our mother’s wombs to one day find, rescue, and love each other deeply for the rest of our days.

And while we were waiting to find each other, God kept us close to His heart.

Your Heavenly Father will do the same for you, too, beloved. He’s always there – waiting to help, heal, and hold you – no matter what you’re going through. Never give up – no matter how dark the day seems. The night may be cold and dark, but hope comes in the morning with God’s perfect light.

It’s always been You, Lord Jesus. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for finding me. Thank you for rescuing me from the fire.

And thank You, God, for David – Your love with skin on it. It’s always been You.