Victory through surrender

Sometimes, our most significant victories are won when we fully surrender – not to our enemies, but to God. 

Two weeks ago, I was ready to walk out the door of my workplace and never look back. After three days of eleven, thirteen, and twelve-hour days, respectively, I was burned out. With more work than I could handle and no end in sight, the crushing anxiety that came from such a workload was overwhelming. My days start at 7:00 am, but when I started leaving at 8:00 pm, I knew that something had to give, and if I wasn’t careful, that “something” would be me. 

It’s too much, I thought. I can’t do this. 

When I met with my boss for my biannual performance review, there was no talk about my performance. Instead, it was more of a check-in to see how I was doing. With so many of my former coworkers out of work, the last thing I could do was complain. Instead, I said, “I am privileged to be here,” and I meant it.  

After detailing some of the work I was handling, my boss told me she wished there was something she could do, but, unfortunately, she said, there wasn’t. The shortage of staff after our recent workforce reduction has translated to a more massive load for everyone. That’s just the way it is. No one would dare protest as we all know there are two people collecting unemployment for every one of us who still have jobs. It is, indeed, a privilege to be employed in 2020. 

With the reality of all this sinking in, I knew that I couldn’t change my job, but I could change my mentality. 

On day four of feeling overwhelmed, I woke an hour before my alarm went off and thought of how I used to pray before work. It had previously been my practice to count my blessings, each morning, and ask God to bless my family and my day before even opening my eyes. I couldn’t remember the last time I had done so.

Lately, I’d been waking early to rehearse all the things I needed to do and make a mental plan of attack for the day. In doing so, I had unwittingly eliminated two weapons in my arsenal against stress – prayer and Bible reading. I had been too busy for both, and my current mental state suffered from the lack thereof. 

Forgive me, Lord, I prayed. Help me remember to lean on You and let Your strength fill my day. The battle isn’t mine. It’s yours. Show me what to do. Give me the wisdom to accomplish what You want me to accomplish. Help me be the person that You want me to be. I give it all to You, dear Lord. 

I prayed like that, repeating my petitions, surrendering my burdens to God until my alarm went off. I knew that God kept me in my position for a reason. I needed to remember that He would give me the stamina to keep pressing on. He would see me through. My strength comes from God, after all – not by anything I could ever do on my own. 

That day at work, after my morning prayers, I felt happy again – full of energy and hope. My burdens hadn’t changed, but my joy in serving the Lord had been restored. I didn’t stay late at work that night. I did what I could in the time allotted to me, and then I went home, read my Bible, and thanked God for His provision. 

How often do I struggle senselessly, striving to win life’s battles on my own? Sure, I pray, but my prayers are usually for divine intervention or rescue. More often than not, God is not going to remove me from my challenging circumstances. 

Instead, He invites me to surrender and ask for His strength when my own has been exhausted. I don’t have to be super-woman all the time. God is the miracle-worker, the promise-keeper, and the champion I need to overcome my problems. His strength is all I need, and He is strong enough to overcome all my burdens. His power is enough – for both of us.