Wrapped in the everlasting arms

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. (Deuteronomy 33:27)

David and I speak the same love language – on many levels. We both strive to be affirming; we look for ways to help one another, and – perhaps the most profound thing – we understand the importance of physical touch. Neither David nor I understood the importance of these God-given manifestations of love until we found one another. Now, it is our daily joy to find ways of expressing them.

When we pray, we scoot our chairs close to one another, rest our foreheads and sometimes our cheeks together, and hug one another. “I love how we pray,” David said recently.

“Me, too,” I agreed, smiling.

After we pray, we kiss – at least twice – saying, “I love you” to one another, as well.

That’s a bit much, you might think. Perhaps it is to some people. But not to us. Physical touch – huggling, providing little kisses throughout the day, sitting as close as we can to one another – all these signs of affection are like breathing to David and me.

Sleeping is another matter entirely. I consistently fall asleep with David’s arm around me, my head nestled on his shoulder, my leg thrown over his leg. “Hurry!” David tells me at night. “The Sara spot is waiting for you.”

“Mmm,” I remark when I’m tucked inside this position of comfort. “All is right with the world.”

“Every day,” David often says in return. “We get to do this every day. It never gets old.”

Even though we both eventually roll over to opposing sides during the night, our bodies remain in constant touch. When either of us returns to spoon the other, I often feel that there is nothing more satisfying than our love.  

I have never slept as well as I do with David. Sleep used to elude me. I’d often lie awake at night, thinking about my job and mentally preparing for the next day’s activities. Sometimes, I still do. It’s an unavoidable consequence of working a high-stress job. Even so, knowing that David is beside me gives me great comfort.

When I find my mind moving to work duties as dawn approaches, I often count my blessings – love, security, and contentment being chief among them. I usually fall asleep quickly as I pray to God, thanking Him for his great mercy and abundance. Focusing on my blessings rather than my burdens gives me peace. When one feels peaceful, sleep comes quickly.

On one of these occasions – when I woke in the middle of the night, thinking about all the things I hadn’t yet done at work and still needed to do – I stopped to thank God for perpetually holding me in His arms. I’ve only had David for two years, but my Heavenly Father is omnipresent. I knew I wasn’t alone long before God allowed David and me to meet. My Savior has carried me through every challenging circumstance throughout my life.

Growing up, my walk with Christ grew consistently stronger. I used to seek His presence however I could. My mom raised me on Christian radio. There was inevitably a sermon to be heard in our household on any given evening. We seldom watched TV. Radio and books were our preferred entertainment. I remember listening to Unshackled by the Pacific Garden Mission and Stories of Great Christians, produced by the Moody Church in Chicago, IL.

I grew up inspired by Hudson Taylor (1839-1898) – the famous missionary to China who believed in trusting God with every need, never voicing them out loud. And God continually provided. I still remember Fanny Crosby’s story (1820-1915) of trust and faithfulness. Although Fanny became blind at age six, she never stopped expressing her love for God. This writer penned over 8,000 poems and hymns in her lifetime – “Blessed Assurance” being one of my favorites. Hudson’s and Fannie’s stories gave me hope while ceaselessly reminding me about God’s love and provision.

In middle and high school, I frequently ventured into my grandfather’s woods beside my home. It was there that I would forget my sadness at being an outcast. I felt God’s presence in the sun, sky, and trees. I remember singing songs of praise to Him in the wooded clearing. Those moments uplifted my spirit and fortified my walk with Christ.

I listened to Chuck Colson’s Insight for Living as a high schooler – even requesting copies of his sermon notes when such things had to be shipped via the U.S. Postal Service. Listening to those sermons and reading the notes made the Bible come alive to me.

Throughout my two abusive marriages, I sought God’s solace through His creation. No matter how unloved I felt by those monsters, I knew my Savior loved me. I listened to contemporary Christian music at every opportunity – whether strapping a CD to my arm with my Sony Walkman while cutting the grass or lingering in the yard to watch the sun go down behind the West Virginia mountains. One of my favorite pastimes was singing “Show Me Your Glory” by Third Day in my yard, acres away from my former spouse, before returning to my volatile home.

I remember huddling in the woods beside a golf course near my home in the middle of a cold night after my ex-husband told me to get out. I distinctly recall praying to God: You know I’m here, Lord. You know, and You care. That thought empowered me to survive countless nights of the same torment – being thrust out in the dark to sleep in my yard, garage, with my dogs, or on my deck, garden, or car. God carried me through all those experiences – bolstering my belief that my Heavenly Father loved me no matter how worthless anyone else made me feel.

When my best friend encouraged me to date again a few years ago, I told her I had no desire to do so. “God is my constant companion,” I remember telling her. “He’s all I’ll ever need.”

The truth is, I never believed someone could love me like God does. As I said in my wedding vows: “I didn’t want superficial love. I wanted perfect love – a love like God’s with skin on it. I dreamed of the kind of love that would see into my soul and love every part of me – inside and out. Despite my flaws and insecurities, the perfect love I envisioned that someday someone would have for me would be blind to anything but my spirit.”

That’s the love I have now. For the past two blissful years, I have felt the unconditional love of my God-given husband. His arms now physically hold me as my Savior has throughout my life. When I see David, I see God’s love – manifested through the eyes of a man who truly loves me.

I know David gets frustrated with me, just like my Heavenly Father does. And yet, I also know they will both incessantly love me. When David’s arms hold me at night, I feel that they are the physical manifestation of God’s all-encompassing compassion, security, and comfort for all of us.

Psalm 91:4 tells us, “He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings, you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”

God’s protective wings, faithful love, and sheltering provision will dependably surround us. We must only acknowledge and accept Christ as our Savior to rest in His everlasting arms.