Who am I?

What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? (Psalm 8:4)

As I walked through my living room this morning at the start of my day, I was struck by the luminous sunlight emanating through my arched window above the front door. After several days of rain and cloud cover, the contrasting glow cut through the darkness like a surgical blade. While I’m not a huge fan of daylight savings time, seeing these magnificent beams so early in the morning made me feel like a privileged witness to the dawn of creation.

Rather than starting my workday from the kitchen table as usual, I felt compelled to sit in the living room, directly facing the radiant grandeur unfolding before my eyes.  As my head tilted upward, I was consumed by God’s brilliant power and grace.

A few hours earlier, I woke up in bed and recounted my incredible blessings. I used to do so every morning, but lately, I find myself rushing into what always feels like a roller coaster ride on the tracks of responsibility and stamina.

Not today. Today, I stopped to smell the roses – or at least bask in the sunlight. Today, I gave my full attention to the Creator of the Universe as He sliced away all my distractions with an incandescent display of His resplendence.  

As I looked out into the glowing room, I was struck by how my Heavenly Father has filled my life with love, laughter, and light. I have everything my heart has ever desired – both tangibly and intangibly.

And yet, God said, there is more. In my humble world, God has given me Himself: His love, His power, His grace, and His presence. These gifts are new every morning. I am free to stand before the Creator of the universe and bask in His incomparable artistry- every day of my life. I have only to stop and allow myself the time to do so.

Sitting in my chair and considering my illuminating eyelashes, I was struck anew at how easy it is to focus on myself and forget about God. How arrogant. How petty am I to ever do so?

The Author of the universe lovingly created me. He made the air that fills my lungs and the blood that flows through my veins. He created the intricate system that comprises my body and told it to function so that I can breathe, eat, sleep, move, laugh, and cry – all while taking the miracle that is my existence for granted.

As I felt the warm sunlight on my face, I subconsciously knew I couldn’t look directly into the blinding orb from which it emerged. I have respect for the sun and understand its power. In acknowledging this simple truth, I was reminded anew of the awe and reverence that is consistently due to my Creator.

How often do I forget to revere the One who gave me life? How frequently do I elevate myself in importance while neglecting to consider that God is God and I am nothing in comparison?

This morning, I felt akin to the Psalmist as I considered the magnificence of my Creator. The words of Psalm 8 speak the musings of my own heart.

O Lord, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory above the heavens.
Out of the mouths of babies and infants,
you have established strength because of your foes,
to still the enemy and the avenger.
When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
and the son of man that you care for him?
Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.
You have given him dominion over the works of your hands;
you have put all things under his feet,
all sheep and oxen,
and also the beasts of the field,
the birds of the heavens, and the fish of the sea,
whatever passes along the paths of the seas.
O Lord, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!

As David and I re-examine the plight of the Israelites under Moses in our daily scripture readings, I must catch myself from thinking them fools for so quickly forgetting all that God did to bring them out of their slavery in Egypt. Their grumblings in the desert were surely no different than mine would have been if I were living through the same circumstances. Their fears over the walled cities and the enemies that waited to fight them in the Promised Land would likely have been mine as well. While I’d like to think I would be more like Joshua or Caleb and consistently remember that God can give me victory over any foe, I can’t be sure that insecurity won’t consume me when faced with such giants, myself.  

When Caleb said, “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it” (Numbers 13:3), would I have sided with this great hero of the faith, or might I have cowered with the others and doubted the power of my God? I can only hope that I will always stand fast in my faith.

The truth is, we all must take the time to “Be still and know that [God] is God.” (Psalm 46:10). We must sit down in the light, look up at the sunbeams, and consider who created everything that ever was and ever will be. Only when we can say, “Who am I that you should be mindful of me?” will we understand that we were created to worship God. Only by doing so will we ever fathom the greatness of our Creator.

We are loved by the Alpha and Omega – the beginning and the end. God created all that ever is and all that ever will be – and yet He loved us. Lowly, unpredictable, flawed, foolish, forgetful, despicable me is loved by the Creator of all things. Who am I to be loved by Him? I am nothing and yet everything because my Savior loves me.