Show me the next thing

Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word. (Psalm 119: 37)

Throughout my last few blogs, I’ve shared my moral dilemma in working for a company actively promoting things that oppose my faith. New Age thinking is not something I can ever embrace. There is no symmetry between this religious lifestyle and my Christian beliefs. While I could also say the same about much of what standard corporate cultures promote, I’ve never been pushed to participate in activities that go against what I believe– until now. The bottom line is this: I cannot and will not join in anything I perceive as ungodly – in and out of the workplace. My faith is non-negotiable.

I honestly thank God for giving me such a deep sense of discernment. The father of one of my team members is a chaplain with Samaritan’s Purse – an organization that is near and dear to my heart. I initially thought her participation with this organization gave it credibility. What I’ve seen, instead, is that she, too, follows this culture rather than anything Christian she might have been taught to believe.  While I wonder if she’s seen behind the curtain as much as I have, I also witnessed her wholehearted participation and adoration of everything being promoted. That thought saddens me.

Here are a few things I’ve learned about the people my organization is partnering with over the past few weeks:

• My boss has close ties with and endorses a husband-and-wife team of psychotherapists who perform psychedelic therapy. This treatment uses hallucinogenic or psychedelic drugs, such as LSD, to treat mental disorders.
  • My org organized Holotropic Breathwork (HB) sessions between these therapists, local firefighters, and river guides who were assisting with the recovery of bodies after Hurricane Helene hit the western NC region.
  • According to VeryWellMind.com, HB involves quickening one’s breathing patterns to achieve an “altered state of consciousness (without using drugs).”
  • Some practitioners use HB as a “spiritual practice rather than a therapeutic one,” believing that “this technique moves you forward to higher consciousness.”

• I recently learned that my executive’s best friend claims to be a clairvoyant and “transformational healer.” In addition to helping her start her own “Center,” my boss is bringing her friend to a “partner dinner” to introduce her to our founder. The practices followed at my executive’s friend’s site are those my boss is working to implement on our property.
  • Per this individual’s website, transformational healing involves shifting energies to “unravel faulty beliefs,” a practice designed to help one “better connect with the Self.”
  • These sessions promise to help one develop a “deeper connection with the Divine.”
  • Suggested readings from this person’s website include the following:
    • Brunke. D. Animal Voices, Animal Guides: Discover Your Deeper Self through Communication with Animals
    • Ammon-Wexler, J. Pineal Gland & Third Eye: Develop Your Higher Self
    • Monroe, R. Journeys Out of the Body
    • Targ, R. The Reality of ESP: A Physicist’s Proof of Psychic Abilities
    • Stone, M. When God Was a Woman
    • Jones & Pennick. History of a Pagan Europe
    • Christ, C. Rebirth of the Goddess: Finding Meaning in Feminist Spirituality
    • Bhava, S. Transgender spirituality: Man into Goddess
    • Leloup, J. The Gospel of Mary Magdalene
    • McColman, C. The Big Book of Christian Mysticism: The Essential Guide to Contemplative Spirituality

• After Thanksgiving, my boss texted photos to our team of the 8-ton quartz crystal placed in the woods in the perceived “energy vortex” of the land.
  • This stone was purchased in South America and took 3 weeks to ship to the U.S. and several days to be delivered to the Center.
  • The placement was guided by an Ecuadorian partner who believed it should be hidden where no one can find it to provide the “best energy and protection” to the site.
  • It took a team of five people to maneuver the giant crane into the woods, lift the crystal, lower it into the crevice, and position it in its new home.
  • The crystal stands nearly 12 feet tall and approximately 8 feet across.

• A few weeks ago, a local chef we hired to cook for our founder, when she visits Marshall, started to cry after speaking to the executive chef who cooks for our CEO in the U.K.
  • When asked why she was crying, she talked about how hard it has been for her to now live in what she classified as the “Bible-belt” after having lived in Miami for years.
  • I worked with this chef during my two-week interval on campus while she catered several on-site meals. I learned that she “meditates” while cooking to “transfer [her] energy” to the food.
  • The chef also told all of us that she travels with her boyfriend around the state, providing sweat lodges at local New Age fairs. Her partner is the lodge’s “spiritual leader” whose role is to “connect individuals to the natural world and the spiritual realm.” Per momentslog.com, “The lodge represents the womb of Mother Earth, and the stones symbolize the bones of the Earth. The steam represents the breath of the Creator, and the prayers and songs carry the intentions and messages of the participants to the spiritual realm.”

As you can well imagine, I oppose all of the above. During my time in this role, I’ve realized that I haven’t been myself since I started this job. I can’t encourage anyone, celebrate their activities, or speak the language of my peers. While I do my job well, the nature of this work and the building of this vision is not one I can ever support. Unlike my team members, who gush over how much love and contentment they feel in their positions, I operate in survival mode.

The only bright time in the past two months was during my two weeks on-site in NC when David drove up so the two of us could serve with Samaritan’s Purse (SP) again. The base camp where we met our fellow believers was none other than the Billy Graham Training Center at the Cove, located in Asheville, NC. Driving onto this land that trains countless Christians to stand for their faith felt like coming home.

“These are my people,” I told David after seeing the familiar orange shirts of our fellow SP volunteers.

Our first day of volunteering took us to the home of a disabled woman who was raising her three grandchildren after her daughter died a few years ago. Their modular home had flooded during Hurricane Helene, so they were living in a rented trailer after spending the previous month in a local shelter. Her experience with the minimal shelter food and the dangerous aspects of living in this communal space shocked me. While she was there, she witnessed a policeman nearly shoot a dog that lunged at the officer while he was near her and her grandchildren.

She also confessed to feeling afraid as several men dressed as women who were also living in the space started staring at her grandchildren – even following them into the public restrooms. The experience made her grateful to be home and reminded me of all the comforts I often take for granted.

While helping this needy mother and grandmother, we facilitated the total clean-out and gutting of her home to assist in salvaging whatever we could for her.

During our lunch break, one of my fellow SP team members introduced herself to us. Shortly after she did so, I asked her to pray for my peace of mind regarding my job situation. After explaining the predicament I now find myself in, my sister-in-Christ objectively stated that my “presence helps [my employer] feel better about what they’re doing.” After talking, we prayed for my wisdom to know what to do and continued our work.

Later in the day, SP Rapid Response Team chaplains stopped by to visit the homeowner and site. As they walked by me, one asked how I was doing. That was the only prompting I needed to share all that weighed heavily on my heart. After we prayed, the chaplain told me he didn’t need to advise me on handling this situation.

“I can see how much this is troubling you,” he said. “I believe you already know what to do. I think you should quit and trust all of this to God.” When I explained that I never quit without another job lined up, he said he’d continue praying for me. “You can serve God anywhere,” he said. “You don’t have to put yourself through all this to share His light with others.”

After the chaplain left, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. We came to minister to others, and instead, I was ministered to! The whole experience left me feeling uplifted and encouraged.

I’ve since prayed with our pastor in VA Beach and continued to surrender and petition God for His help.

I now know that I need to leave my current role. I’m praying hard that my heavenly Father will open the right door for me to go where He wants me to be next. I’ve applied for a position with my former employer and continue sending out resumes nearly daily. I trust my Savior to lead me and know He will – in His time.

Mid-December, I’m scheduled to travel to the U.K. with the rest of my U.S.-based team, where we are to participate in an abridged “team practice” day, followed by a Winter Party hosted by our founder. While I know I should be excited by this prospect, I dread it. I’m now praying that God will give me the right words to say at the right time to testify to my faith, whatever it costs me.

In the meantime, I’ll repeat: my faith is non-negotiable. All the way, my Savior leads me. I know He is with me every step of the way. I am confident that all of this will lead to an even more extensive testimony on my part. I am ready to reflect His light and love where I am and wherever He leads me.

I am never alone, nor are any of us. With God at our side, we can conquer any mountain – or even those who think the mountain’s energy comes from strategically placed rocks. God is in control of all of it. I am ready to do whatever God chooses to be the next thing in my life. 

Show me the next thing, Lord Jesus.