For God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

A friend of mine recently reached out to ask if everything was alright. “I noticed you haven’t posted a blog in almost a month,” he observed. “Is everything okay or are you just busy?”

In response, I explained that between helping my husband, David, in VA Beach, two hurricanes, ending my former job, starting a new one, and my mom and brother coming for a three-week visit, it’s been a bit challenging to find time to write.

More than that, my new job has been completely overwhelming. While I started three blogs in three weeks, working 10–12-hour days while learning a new remote position and having virtually no work/life balance has been a more significant challenge than I ever could have anticipated.

As a start-up with a UK base, provision had yet to be made to provide me with a work laptop or mobile phone, for one thing. The expectation was for me to work from my personal devices – something I’d never anticipated doing in this or any other job.

Additionally, while I’m working remotely, my US home base is located in Marshall, NC – an area decimated by Hurricane Helene. In addition to the loss of life we discussed daily, the 27 feet of flood water that came raging through the town from the French Broad River blew out windows, twisted metal train tracks, and washed away complete sections of major highways. The devastation was unfathomable.

The text messages from my teammates came hard and fast around the clock during this interval. Talk about starting a job in a windstorm. This was it! My first month of work was far from “normal,” as a result. Each of us helped with disaster response in our own way. Even in faraway GA, I made countless calls, documented local agencies that could help victims, and met virtually with my team members daily to discuss my company’s work to provide construction equipment, manpower, and resources to those working on the ground.

More than that, I was thrust headlong into the spirituality that permeates my new employer’s mission -without gentle ease of transport. While I was told that the organization’s mission is “non-denominational,” a decidedly New Age culture abounds in much of their talk and activities. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.

One Zoom call, for example, began with a ten-minute meditation session where all participants – including me – were asked to close our eyes, relax our bodies, and envision our spirits moving down into the earth and then back into our bodies, and up into “a golden ball of light above [ourselves].” The leader continued telling us to envision ourselves as “incredible, divine, phenomenal beings.” We were then told to return that light and energy to our “higher selves and the divine beings that [we] are.”

While I protected myself from these thoughts by praying to God throughout the session, I was stunned to be subjected to this type of activity without my notification or consent. My boss later called me to ask my thoughts regarding the experience.

“You’re my litmus test,” she said. “What did you think of it?”

After uttering a whispered prayer to God for help, I told her I appreciated the importance of deep breathing and relaxation – especially given everything our team had been exposed to during our hurricane response work.

“But what did you really think?” she asked again. “I’d like to know your thoughts.”

At that point, I explained that I had mixed reactions.

“There were things I appreciated – like the deep breathing and relaxation directions,” I replied. “But others – like talk of the divine – that go against my faith. I can’t participate in that. I just prayed through it – in my own way.”

“That’s good,” my boss said. “There are many ways to experience things. That’s all we ask.”

While I was happy to reaffirm my faith and the lines I can’t cross – much as I did before I accepted this position – by the weekend, I was frazzled, frustrated, and flabbergasted by what I would be exposed to regularly. Every day, it seemed, something new shocked me – whether by messages in group chats, emails, or meetings discussing this organization’s nature.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” I told David after a particularly challenging day. “These people don’t think like I do. How can I support it? I really felt like God was leading me here – and I told my boss exactly who I am, as a Christian, before I took this job. Sooner or later, I’m going to be asked to defend my faith, big time. I don’t know how this is going to end.”

“You do what you have to do, love,” David told me. “If you can’t do this, I completely understand. We’ll get by. I support you in whatever decision you make.”

After being emotionally overwhelmed one evening, I began watching YouTube videos of individuals talking about God. In story after story, I heard atheists and others explain how our Creator became real to them and empowered their daily lives.   

As David called me later to read our daily scripture passages together (I read the Old Testament passages, and he reads the New Testament plus a Psalm and several Proverbs), I told him what I’d watched that evening.

“I can do this, love,” I said through tears. “I need to stay plugged into scripture, music, and videos that remind me that I’m not alone in this battle. God is with me. Pastor Mark told me this would be my toughest job – and he was right. I may not yet know why God placed me in this role, but He’ll show me. I’m here for a reason. I have to stay prayed up and armored up. He’ll show me what to do.”

That was a week ago. Today, my boss asked for my input, as a Christian, regarding a potential corporately sponsored conference being considered in December.

“I’d like to have your opinion, Sara,” my boss asked. “We want to have faith leaders from the community come to this event. How do you think they’ll react?”

“I think it depends on who is speaking at the event,” I replied. My boss concurred. “I also think that hosting an event in a little over a month, asking members of the faith community to support you during the month of December, while the focus is on Christmas, may not go over well.”

“That’s also right at the start of Advent season,” I further explained. “Church leaders may not think favorably about you asking them to participate in an event to discuss the science of spirituality while they’re focusing on the birth of Christ.”

After asking me to explain what Advent is, my boss said she agreed with my thoughts and would take them back to upper management in consideration of postponing the proposed conference until after December.

“Today was a good day,” I later told David. “Today, my boss did what she said she would. She asked me to give my opinion as a Christian regarding how believers would react to their initiatives. It felt good to talk about Jesus.”

As David and I read our evening scripture, I was ecstatic at God’s written reminders to always serve my Creator and not be afraid to stand firm in my faith – even in the workplace. In 2 Timothy 1:7-8, for example, we read, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Therefore, do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me, His prisoner, but share with me the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God.

Hallelujah! I thought. God is always with me. I never have to fear anything the world – or workplace – throws at me.

“What a beautiful scripture,” I told David. “That’s precisely what I needed to hear today. God will always give me the right things to say at the right time. I will never be afraid to say them!”  

In further validation of God’s love and provision, our Psalm reading for the today was my favorite – Psalm 91.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, “You are my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely, He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler, and from the deadly plague. He will cover you with His feathers; under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the calamity that destroys at noon. Though a thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, no harm will come near you. You will only see it with your eyes and witness the punishment of the wicked. Because you have made the LORD your dwelling — my refuge, the Most High — no evil will befall you, no plague will approach your tent. For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. They will lift you up in their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and cobra; you will trample the young lion and serpent. “Because he loves Me, I will deliver him; because he knows My name, I will protect him. When he calls out to Me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him. With long life, I will satisfy him and show him My salvation.”

I can only say Amen and Thank you, Jesus! Forgive my fear and frustration. I know You are always with me. You placed me here for Your divine purpose. While I may not always know what that purpose is, and while my days may be challenging – full of thoughts contrary to Your Word – I know You will guide, strengthen, and empower me. I will always be your servant, and I will always trust in You. Show me Your way, Lord Jesus. Give me Your words when I need them. Let me be Your light wherever You need it to shine. Lead on, King Jesus. Thank you for loving fallible me. I am nothing without You.”

And so, I will continue to shine on, wearing my cross necklace in every meeting I’m involved in, smiling through the worldly concepts that will always fall short of the joy only God can give. I will be the “token” Christian on staff. I will shine God’s light and let Him use me however He sees fit. It’s not up to me to change anyone. I will, however, keep being who He wants me to be, and I will be unflinching in my faith – no matter the cost.