Teach me to number my days

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12) 

Three weeks ago, David and I flew to VA Beach to meet with his urologist to receive the results of his prostate biopsy. We only stayed for two nights as my mom was visiting GA – so we couldn’t be gone long. During our return flight, I wrote a blog on my phone – one painstaking letter at a time. I wanted to capture my thoughts while they were fresh in my head and had the time to do so.

Since we’ve been married, our days are so full that little time remains for me to write – and I miss doing so daily. Between a full work week, evenings and weekends are always spent catching up on yard duties before we return to one or the other of our houses to do the same there. Twice monthly travels between VA Beach and GA make me feel like a bit of a vagabond, but the trips are necessary. Until David’s VA Beach house is ready to sell or rent, we generally spend two to two and a half weeks at either location.

This evening, I was determined to write. At a minimum, I wanted to post the blog I’d written on the plane but never had a chance to edit and upload until finally claiming the time to do so.

And so, it was with great disappointment that I learned the words and emotions I’d captured three weeks ago were gone – vanished, deleted, irretrievably lost.

For a writer, losing words ostensibly secured in the heat of heady sentiment is tantamount to experiencing a knife wound to the gut.

And yet, I know I am exceedingly blessed. Lost words mean nothing compared to what David and I gained during our last trip.

Despite David’s grim potential cancer prognosis, what we’ve been praying for all along has been confirmed – David is cancer-free! How he went from a high probability of stage 3 or 4 prostate cancer to not one cancer cell in his body can only be laid at the feet of Christ. David is healthy, happy, and whole. Upon hearing the results in his urologist’s office, all the two of us could say was, “Yay, God!”

As we hugged and wiped the tears from our eyes before leaving the exam room, one of the staff members poked her head in to make sure we were alright. “Yes, ma’am,” I said. “We’re just happy!”

“Tears of joy,” David confirmed.

Indeed, our Heavenly Father delivered what we’d prayed and trusted God for. The Divine Physician had healed David’s body from the inside out. There’s no doubt in my mind as to the veracity of that claim.

Even David’s urologist seemed stunned. To be confident of the results, the doctor who’d performed the procedure made 24 cuts in 4 regions of David’s prostate – far more than are usually taken.

“I knew it,” I exclaimed as David’s urologist revealed his surgical findings. God has always been in complete control – and David has much more Kingdom work to do than the original prognosis seemed to allow.

While flying above the clouds on our return journey to GA, I remember looking out and being struck by the cloud structures beneath us. What began as a clear sky quickly became overcast, and I could see nothing beneath us.

And yet blue sky prevailed. Above the clouds, God sees everything.

Our Creator has already foreseen what we can often only discern one foot at a time. Clear, turbulent, or stormy skies aside, God is always with us, and nothing ever takes Him by surprise. As the Apostle Matthew reminds us, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.” (10:29)

I’ve always said that every day is a gift – even more so now that I have David to spend the rest of my days with. While every gift may not always be what I want or hope for, I’ve learned to appreciate each offering as a gesture of love presented by someone who cares. If I believe that sentiment to be true – and I do – how much more should I appreciate what my Heavenly Father gives me?

While I may have lost the words I first captured weeks ago, I know how I feel now. I am blessed beyond measure and thank God daily for his unspeakable gifts.

No matter how many days I have left to spend with my beloved husband, I value all of them. I spent too much of my life without David to ever underestimate the great worth of having him beside me now.

May we never forget how precious our loved ones are. Each of us has only been given a defined number of days here on Earth. May we spend each of them praising God and serving our Creator.