Give love. Show love. Be love.

From a young age, I idolized the concept of love. I wanted to be the princess being swept off her feet by Prince Charming. He would rescue me from the evil villain and carry me off to his castle to live happily ever after. The reality of my life is much different. 

As I write about in my testimonial blog, Flawless, I was always the outcast growing up – the nerdy, unattractive girl picked last, overlooked, and made fun of by everyone. I dreamed of being loved unconditionally, but instead, married men who demoralized, demeaned, and defeated my belief in the emotion. 

“There are no such things as fairy tales,” my first husband told me as I begged for scraps of affection from him. I made a fool out of myself, hoping he’d grow to love me. As I learned all too well, you can’t change someone who doesn’t have the desire to do so. I grew to fear his violent anger and soon learned to keep my mouth shut.

My second husband linked affection to materialism. Love, in his world, was dispensed through the conditional distribution of objects like food, clothing, and shelter – only given if my performance was up to par. In other words, as long as I kept a spotless house, disavowed friends and family, and worshipped at the feet of his domination, I would be “rewarded” with tokens of goodwill. If I didn’t, food would be removed and I would be locked out of the house.

Neither of these lifestyles exemplified the emotion I searched for. 

In contrast, the Bible uses the term agape to define the type of love we are to demonstrate for one another. GotQuestions.org defines agape in this way: 

“The essence of agape love is goodwill, benevolence, and willful delight in the object of love. Unlike our English word love, agape is not used in the New Testament to refer to romantic sexual love. Nor does it refer to close friendship or brotherly love, for which the Greek word philia is used. Agape love involves faithfulness, commitment, and an act of the will. It is distinguished from the other types of love by its lofty moral nature and strong character. Agape love is beautifully described in 1 Corinthians 13.”

As Christians, we are told to love one another – in fact, the word love is used 551 times in the New International Version of the Bible. A few examples of this usage are listed below: 

• “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13: 34-35)
• “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)
• “…serve one another humbly in love.” (Galatians 5:13)
• “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)
• “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10)
• “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” (1 John 4: 7-10)

In all of the above verses and throughout the Bible, one common theme stands apart – God tells us to demonstrate love just as He did for us. We are never promised that anyone other than our Creator will love us in return.

As counterintuitive as it seems, receiving love should never be our motivation for dispensing the same. We are only told to give agape love to one another. 1 John 4:11 encapsulates this concept by telling us, “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”

God demonstrated His unconditional love for us by providing His Son to be the perfect sacrifice for our sins. Whether we deserve, acknowledge, or appreciate it, Christ took our sins upon Himself so that we could spend all eternity in heaven with Him.

When the Pharisees asked Christ to define the greatest commandment, He didn’t hesitate: “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12: 29-31)

Our directive is simple: we are to love one another unconditionally. No matter how the world treats us, no matter how cruel or neglectful our circumstances are, no matter if or when we are ever to be loved in return, we are to love each other. That’s not always the easiest thing to do. In fact, it may be the most formidable command we are ever asked to follow. 

As Christians, we should exemplify Christ’s love in everything we do. Agape love should emanate from our pores as we enter the workplace. It should fill our speech as we talk to one another. It should be evident in our actions as we move throughout our days. And it should astound others when they treat us poorly. If anyone is ever asked to define us, their most significant descriptor should be that we embody love. 

On Valentine’s Day and beyond, our life’s ambition should be to purposely, adamantly, affectionately love one another. In a world filled with anger, mistrust, and betrayal, we will only make a difference by manifesting Christ’s love. “Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.” (1 John 4:11) Go, and do likewise.