More valuable than gold

“…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.” (Isaiah 61:3) 

Some of life’s fiercest blows hit us outside the punching ring, apart from the battlefield, and separate from the courtroom. Sometimes, the hardest hits we take are those we face emotionally – disappointment, rejection, fear, heartache. My tender heart still feels the sting of such things, in spite of my best defenses.

As one who loves deeply, I can attest to all the emotions it represents – both the euphoric and the debilitating. Love has given me both a desire to dance in the daytime and mourn in the moonlight.

And that’s okay. While I could stand with a few less earthly sorrows, I have grown through each experience. I’ve learned empathy for those who have lost jobs, been homeless, survived violence, suffered betrayal, endured physical pain, lost a loved one, and rebuilt their lives from scratch.

In God’s mercy, He has walked me through all these challenges to elevate my comprehension of the otherwise incomprehensible heartache of others. I understand anxiety, despondency, and rejection because I’ve been there. I’ve lived these emotions. I’ve felt the sting of pain in more areas of my life than even I’d care to admit.

Nevertheless, I know that if God chooses affliction for me, it will always be for His purpose.

I recently started volunteering in our local women’s shelter, where those fleeing domestic violence situations can safely reside. While I’ve only worked in the “clothes closet,” thus far, I’ve spoken to the coordinator about my desire to do more.

While sorting, hanging, and organizing shoe and clothing donations is valuable, I fervently aspire to speak to the women themselves. I advised the coordinator that I’d like to share my story of victory in overcoming this same type of life. I’ve traveled light-years, after all, since leaving my former spouse – with little more than a duffle bag of clothing.

Unlike these women, I was extremely fortunate – with formidable resources – when I fled. I had a car, a job, money in the bank, a network of allies, and a fierce belief that God was with me. I stayed in a hotel for a while, with points donated from friends, and then at a lovely beach condo, rented by a vendor for his own, frequent in-town business. I even stayed in a corporate apartment for a week, where I’d placed short-term business guests at the consent of the property owners.

When I eventually found my apartment, my first purchase was a futon to sleep on, then a table, chairs, and kitchen equipment from my local thrift shop. I often joked that I lived in the apartment that Goodwill built. I’ll never forget the joy I felt from my ultimate splurge – a real bed. It was like heaven on earth. I still delight in sleeping on it to this day.

While my apartment was sparse for months, I will always savor the liberty and sense of accomplishment I felt with each acquisition for my home. Knowing I could get up in the middle of the night and raid my fridge without judgment was tantamount to winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Each new-found freedom represented a supreme triumph and testament to God’s power and grace over my life.

I hope to imbue that same sense of strength and victory to the women at the shelter. The coordinator is connecting me with the woman who conducts their group sessions, so I can speak to the residents about hope, planning for a better future, and preparing for job interviews. I want to help them practice answering interview questions and instill the confidence they need to move forward and into a brighter tomorrow – without regret or the stigma of failure.

In God’s sight, we are more precious than diamonds. He has promised, “to bestow on [the heartbroken] a crown of beauty instead of ashes.” I look forward to sharing that assurance with every woman I’m privileged to meet. Such a pledge has given me strength and resolve to conquer any challenges that come my way – no matter how formidable they may seem.

Don’t listen to the lies of the devil, beloved. Do not let him overpower you. Wear your crown of beauty as a symbol of His love and victory. You are, after all, more valuable than gold.